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Chain smokes outside, begrudgingly. Comes in smelling like an ashtray. I'm so angry. She's 82, type 1 diabetes, has announced that she can't possibly quit smoking because she has had enough stress with the move. She had a small stroke which affected her vision, and some memory. I can deal with giving extra care, but the cigarette thing is the "elephant in the room."

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I'd bet dollars to donuts that you are not mad about the smell as much as you are mad about her destroying what's left of her health. Tell her so. It is one of the few things that ever get smokers to quit...the concern for the grief they cause their loved ones as they suffer the consequences and die prematurely. It is one ferocious addiction.
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I would never allow someone who smoked, to do so in My Home. HOW did this happen that she moved in with you? I'm sorry but there is no cure for smoking, except to Stop Smoking. Get her to the doctor to have medication to stop smoking, or move her out, or move yourself out. Second hand smoke is a health risk YOU do not need.
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i was always afraid my Dad would try to "light" the e-cig... We all smoke ( and know better) but at least hubs and I smoked outside or with a window open..no can do with frozen Mom... Bought a giant air scrubber.. helps some but we are really going to have to repaint and such one of these days.. it does get everywhere. And we only smoked in the kitchen.. now there is smoking in the rec room too... can't stop it at her age...
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I want to say you're lucky she's smoking outside -- and in a way, you are -- but it's still bad, because I know how bad she must smell.
My mom has her own place and smokes so much that I have to go home and shower and wash my clothing, even after visiting for a half-hour. Walls are stained, and everything just feels filthy, so I feel for you.
Could you maybe try the e-cigarettes for mom? Those at least don't stink. Maybe you could ease her into those?
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Oh, no. Did you discuss this with her, before she moved in? You will have some friends that won't even be able to be around her.

Who is washing those smokey clothes?

Even nursing homes don't allow smoking. They can go outside (some) but generally they don't.
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Actually cigarettes don't calm the stress.... what calms the stress is that she is taking in deep breaths while smoking and holding it in.... heck, she could use a soda straw and get the same results, and not get hooked on nicotine.

I always find it interesting that smokers think that smoking outside that no one will smell the odor on them. Sadly that tobacco smell is also in ones lungs long after the cigarette has been put out, so every time a smoker exhales you will smell it.... the odor also comes through the smoker's pores.

Even if your Mom quits smoking, you will still smell it for quite some time :( As you already know any smoke on the clothes gets transferred to any piece of furniture she sits in, even the car. And any closet where she hangs her coat and any wearing apparel. Unless she washes her hands right after smoking, it will be on anything she touches.

Bet she refuses to believe that her smoking had caused her stroke.
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Be thankful that she smokes outside. Febreze works well. Or maybe turn off your sniffer. If you are hoping she will quit smoking at this late date, it most likely will not happen. There are facilities that have special smoking areas. When touring one a few weeks ago we were told a story of a resident wheb moved there started smoking. She had smoked when younger but quit because of the children. Now the children are dismayed tthat the facility would allow her to smoke. How are they supposed to stop it? She has lived a long time, know the possibility of health problems, and has earned the right to make her own choices.
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FEBREZE on her clothing. And a good mouthwash. For her hair, spray a hair brush with Febreze and brush her hair. She probably can't smell the offending odor.
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