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I have heard Mom say many times during the coarse of Her Lifetime, that She wants to die at home, and does not wish to be admitted to a CARE HOME. This wish is normal for Mom's Generation, but since Mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2013, now that the disease is progressing I can see Her legs failing soon, then Mom will get bed sores, and incontinence and so on. As My Mother's only Caregiver since before the diagnosis, 24/7 is tough going and at times I do be completely whacked. Mother has refused rest bite care, and I'm getting zero support from the Health Bord soooo far, so I don't have a lot going for Me to date. Question is when that time comes should I be prepared to let go and have Mother admitted to a Care Home where She will be cared for by dedicated Professional's, Who know what is best for Mom?

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Thank You freqflyer, there will be no issue with financing Mother's care as My Brother's have been very successful, hence no kneed to sell or down size.
Yes We are both Irish, and reside in Eire. In 1985 when I was just 25 years young I emigrated to Boston, New England. I had a job pre arranged when I landed, as a plumbing & heating Engineer. Five weeks landed in the US and My American dream had been crushed. I collapsed on a building site and had been rushed to Mount Auburn Hospital in Boston to be told after examination that I had an acute medical condition and that I kneeded to return home to Ireland for immediate medical attention. Yes I did return home and upon examination at Cork University Hospital I had been operated immediately for a brain tumour. I had the same operations in 1991, and 1992, and I am thankful to God for sparing My Life. I will always be very thankful to the Medical Staff, Nurses and Doctors at CUH Who are all wonderful People. IT WAS SIMPLY NOT MY TIME.
wonderful dedicated People.
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I think far too many people practically kill themselves as caregivers because of these impossible to keep promises to elders. Your Mom would rather stay home but if she could reason properly she wouldn't put you though caregiver hell. You must do what's best for you AND mom. You'll be no good to her if you're an exhausted basket case.
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Usually an elder will say that they want to die at home, but that is said when they were in full mind, mobile, and was able to do things for themselves.

I think there comes a time where dying at home is no longer an option, even thought we want to try to keep their wishes. Could your Mom afford to pay for Caregivers to come in to help her from her own retirement fund? Does she own a house? If so, downsize and use the money for an apartment and caregivers.

Do you and your Mom reside in Ireland or are you both now here in the States? It becomes complex if you are here in the States and say you Mom needs financial help for her care.
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