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My mom has dementia and Parkinson's-currently in a Dementia care facility with 23 other residents. She is failing daily-but my concern is she is always telling me about people that pick her up like a baby and throw her into bed. I know that her mind is not really understanding things but I feel like I should be concerned. The staff there as so many other places in not really that great. The place is spot less and well maintained. My Mom is also under Hospice care. I guess I am asking should I be really worried and investigate what she tells me. I go up daily and at different times I have never seen any of the staff pushing or abusing any of the residents. She has been there since March.

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This is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE and needs to reported. I'm glad you wrote to the state. I'm glad for a happy result.
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UPDATE- went to see mom before my careplan meeting. She was crying again and saying really strange things then I took her for a walk down the hallway to help calm her down and talk to her. My meeting was in 10 min so I brought her back to the activities area-placed her in the semi circle for activities to begin the man next to her got up and started to sit on my mom. Where was the nurse well she was around the corner on her cell phone. I screamed help help and trying to keep the man off of my mom and he is really strong finally a women from hospice was coming in and she took the man away-I walked around the corner and yelled at the nurse and told her what had happened-Well I had my careplan and they were not happy with me nor do I care. The charge nurse was very defensive about her staff the social worker was very upset that this was happening-she suggested that we move mom to another wing in there she clearly does not belong in that unit-to many aggressive people and it makes her nervous. I went to tour the other wings and WOW what a difference even my mom was down there having rosary time and she was happy-its quiet no aggressive behaviors no yelling out from residents. AND no residents wondering around into other residents rooms. NOW we have to find a room for her there. Hospice is amazing they called me last night at 10pm they went up for a surprise visit to check in on my mom things were good-she was sleeping . I wrote to my state inregards to this issue not only for my mom but for all the other residents there.
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Yes, you should investigate what is really going on here.
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Why is everyone so concerned about the "rules" of the facility whether or not they allow cameras? My experience is the facility is usually not all that concerned with rules when their staff wants to bend them.
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Thank you all for your replies-had a family meeting yesterday we all agreed Mom needs to be heard and we are her voice. I have a careplan meeting today and will tell them our concerns. Yesterday we all went up to visit and she had a blood area on her sleeve my sister thought it was dried jelly I lifted her shirt and saw that she had a skined elbow still bleeding. Why was this not addressed someone must have seen this. My sister went and got the nurse and she took care of it. This will also be addressed in my meeting-IF we had not gone up moms elbow would not have been taken care of.
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You need to be concerned because you are her only protection. It may be all in her head, but what if it is not? I noticed that my mother forgot everything...except the bad things that happened. There might be some specifics that were a bit off, but she had the gist of what had happened correct.

I am with others on the value of a camera. Check your laws and look through the rules of the facility. You should have received them when she became a resident. If it does not say you can't have a camera I would do it. if you do not have the rules, ask for a copy; but do not tell them you are considering putting a camera in her room.

Also, it is a good idea to verify that the technique used to put her to bed is the right one for her based on her needs.

Bottom line, you are her best protection and you need to get to the bottom of what is going on (if anything) and do all you can to ensure she feels safe in her environment.
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I agree that you may want to observe a transfer or two. Also speak to the care managers and ask them whether transfers are handled by one person or two people for her. If you request that she have two person transfers they'll have an easier time transferring her and I would there is less likelihood for one care worker to "toss" her into bed if another care worker is present. If the complaints go on, and especially if the care managers pooh-pooh the story, find your state's ombudsperson for senior care facilities and call them.
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My wife has dementia and is subject to periods of agitation. I am trying to take care of her at home and using an adult day care facility to help. When she is agitated her legs lock up and she cannot or will not take a step. When that happens, I have to lift her up and place her in bed. Sometimes that means both of us falling on the bed. Recently, someone reported me for abusing her but that is another story. She told the adult investigator that I throw her on the bed.. Her doctor has prescribed a hospital bed and a houry ??? lift for her but I cannot get Medicare to approve them. In the meantime, I am being hassled by the investigator who wants to take her guardianship away from me. By the way, I am also told that I cannot restrain her to keep her from falling when she is in an agitated mode. This is difficult because ,I want to protect her from being hurt.
Added to all this is the fact I use a CPAP machine and mine stopped working and now Medicare will not replace it without a new sleep study which I cannot do because I have no one to stay with my wife overnight
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I would also be concerned, from experience, you have to watch everything. They always make it look good in front of the families it's.behind the "scenes" that I have always worried about, if you are worried, get a camera for her room better safety for your loved one.
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If your mother'sface is not happy when you see her , what she is saying might
Be true (around 80percent). If you check the news in care facilities ,
You will find out there are many residents not treated well especially
When relatives are not around.and if they are not visited,the more the are put down unless by chance , there is someone with a good heart and is a God loving person who treats other well even when no ones looking.
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I would tend to believe her until proven​ otherwise. Why? When my then 87 y.o., frail, 80 lb. mother was in a skilled nursing facility, I witnessed a male aid do the EXACT same thing to her. A big, strapping guy he was too. He picked her up and TOSSED her on to the bed. I guess he figured my back was turned...? Don't know, but I was shocked and horrified, and told him so and also told him NOT to do that again. In hind sight I should have reported him but did not. Just because has mem. probs. d/not mean she isn't correct about certain things. I've made the mistake if poo-pooing some things mom has told me cause they seemed far fetched, only to discover she was spot on. (She has vascular dementia.) Please follow up on your mom's complaint.
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I took my husband to a daycare facility and my husband told his hospice nurse they were jerks. I change facilities and he has been much happier. Still not happy but much better. He seems to like the people and doesn't complain about them.
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Lindabd61...mswyr01776 , the poster of this question needs to check her state regulations about cameras some states allow it some do not. And I am not sure even if the state allows it if some facilities may not permit it. It might be up to the discretion of the facility.
Also keep in mind aging, thinning skin bruises easily and not to jump to conclusions if you do see a bruise.
Trust me there were times when giving my husband a shower I would look at his arm and wonder how he got the bruise or on his leg. (Most times it was just a bump against the kitchen table)
Using a Hoyer sling sometimes would leave a red welt for 30 minutes or so. With poor circulation welts go away slowly.
So seeing a bruise one should not automatically think abuse. But if it does occur often that might warrant a closer look, not just for abuse but if there is a problem with transfer they may need to change how it is being done.
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Time to install a camera in her room facing her bed and check your phone periodically during the day. Unfortunately, she maybe be relating something to you that is going on. Also, check her body, head to toe, for unusual bruising. My mom was in AL in one of the top rated facilities in our area. She has vascular dementia...short term memory loss. She kept telling me she was hungry (over the weekends). She had full escort to meals. I hid in her bathroom one Saturday. No one came to get her. I went back on Sunday. Same thing! I was standing at the director's door on Monday morning! Unfortunately, it happened several times more. I don't care what the reputation is re the facility, it just takes one incompetent employee!
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You might want to ask your Mom how they pick her up and if this scares her.
I recall picking up my kids and grandchildren and playfully tossing them on the couch or bed and this was a fun game. (I hate now to think that 70 years from now they my think of this as frightening)
If this becomes scary for her ask the Hospice nurse about medication.
Medication with Parkinson's can be tricky though.
Also ask the staff how they get her into bed. Is it possible that they are using a Hoyer Lift and to your Mom it feels like they are "picking her up and tossing her onto the bed"? You might even want to visit some evening and watch the procedure.
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Since your mom is under hospice care, you can mention this concern to her hospice social worker.
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Failing or falling daily?

Pick her up like a baby and throw her into bed sounds a little improbable; but what's not at all unlikely is that it's an exaggeration or embroidering of what really happens, and as BB says your mother's perception of how she is being treated does matter.

What also matters is that the staff have been properly trained in manual handling. If they're having to make such strenuous efforts to assist your mother into bed that she feels as if she's being mauled about, they're not doing it right. So yes, do raise this as an issue - observe a few transfers yourself, if possible - because it's a risk for your mother and it's not great for the staff's wellbeing, either.
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I would be concerned that this is mom's perception.

I would talk to the social worker about mom's perception and also what steps they are taking to prevent her falls.
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