Should I be concerned what my mother reports about how the staff treat her or not to be?

Follow
Share

My mom has dementia and Parkinson's-currently in a Dementia care facility with 23 other residents. She is failing daily-but my concern is she is always telling me about people that pick her up like a baby and throw her into bed. I know that her mind is not really understanding things but I feel like I should be concerned. The staff there as so many other places in not really that great. The place is spot less and well maintained. My Mom is also under Hospice care. I guess I am asking should I be really worried and investigate what she tells me. I go up daily and at different times I have never seen any of the staff pushing or abusing any of the residents. She has been there since March.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
18

Answers

Show:
Time to install a camera in her room facing her bed and check your phone periodically during the day. Unfortunately, she maybe be relating something to you that is going on. Also, check her body, head to toe, for unusual bruising. My mom was in AL in one of the top rated facilities in our area. She has vascular dementia...short term memory loss. She kept telling me she was hungry (over the weekends). She had full escort to meals. I hid in her bathroom one Saturday. No one came to get her. I went back on Sunday. Same thing! I was standing at the director's door on Monday morning! Unfortunately, it happened several times more. I don't care what the reputation is re the facility, it just takes one incompetent employee!
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

You might want to ask your Mom how they pick her up and if this scares her.
I recall picking up my kids and grandchildren and playfully tossing them on the couch or bed and this was a fun game. (I hate now to think that 70 years from now they my think of this as frightening)
If this becomes scary for her ask the Hospice nurse about medication.
Medication with Parkinson's can be tricky though.
Also ask the staff how they get her into bed. Is it possible that they are using a Hoyer Lift and to your Mom it feels like they are "picking her up and tossing her onto the bed"? You might even want to visit some evening and watch the procedure.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Lindabd61...mswyr01776 , the poster of this question needs to check her state regulations about cameras some states allow it some do not. And I am not sure even if the state allows it if some facilities may not permit it. It might be up to the discretion of the facility.
Also keep in mind aging, thinning skin bruises easily and not to jump to conclusions if you do see a bruise.
Trust me there were times when giving my husband a shower I would look at his arm and wonder how he got the bruise or on his leg. (Most times it was just a bump against the kitchen table)
Using a Hoyer sling sometimes would leave a red welt for 30 minutes or so. With poor circulation welts go away slowly.
So seeing a bruise one should not automatically think abuse. But if it does occur often that might warrant a closer look, not just for abuse but if there is a problem with transfer they may need to change how it is being done.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I would tend to believe her until proven​ otherwise. Why? When my then 87 y.o., frail, 80 lb. mother was in a skilled nursing facility, I witnessed a male aid do the EXACT same thing to her. A big, strapping guy he was too. He picked her up and TOSSED her on to the bed. I guess he figured my back was turned...? Don't know, but I was shocked and horrified, and told him so and also told him NOT to do that again. In hind sight I should have reported him but did not. Just because has mem. probs. d/not mean she isn't correct about certain things. I've made the mistake if poo-pooing some things mom has told me cause they seemed far fetched, only to discover she was spot on. (She has vascular dementia.) Please follow up on your mom's complaint.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Failing or falling daily?

Pick her up like a baby and throw her into bed sounds a little improbable; but what's not at all unlikely is that it's an exaggeration or embroidering of what really happens, and as BB says your mother's perception of how she is being treated does matter.

What also matters is that the staff have been properly trained in manual handling. If they're having to make such strenuous efforts to assist your mother into bed that she feels as if she's being mauled about, they're not doing it right. So yes, do raise this as an issue - observe a few transfers yourself, if possible - because it's a risk for your mother and it's not great for the staff's wellbeing, either.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I took my husband to a daycare facility and my husband told his hospice nurse they were jerks. I change facilities and he has been much happier. Still not happy but much better. He seems to like the people and doesn't complain about them.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I would be concerned that this is mom's perception.

I would talk to the social worker about mom's perception and also what steps they are taking to prevent her falls.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Since your mom is under hospice care, you can mention this concern to her hospice social worker.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I would also be concerned, from experience, you have to watch everything. They always make it look good in front of the families it's.behind the "scenes" that I have always worried about, if you are worried, get a camera for her room better safety for your loved one.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

UPDATE- went to see mom before my careplan meeting. She was crying again and saying really strange things then I took her for a walk down the hallway to help calm her down and talk to her. My meeting was in 10 min so I brought her back to the activities area-placed her in the semi circle for activities to begin the man next to her got up and started to sit on my mom. Where was the nurse well she was around the corner on her cell phone. I screamed help help and trying to keep the man off of my mom and he is really strong finally a women from hospice was coming in and she took the man away-I walked around the corner and yelled at the nurse and told her what had happened-Well I had my careplan and they were not happy with me nor do I care. The charge nurse was very defensive about her staff the social worker was very upset that this was happening-she suggested that we move mom to another wing in there she clearly does not belong in that unit-to many aggressive people and it makes her nervous. I went to tour the other wings and WOW what a difference even my mom was down there having rosary time and she was happy-its quiet no aggressive behaviors no yelling out from residents. AND no residents wondering around into other residents rooms. NOW we have to find a room for her there. Hospice is amazing they called me last night at 10pm they went up for a surprise visit to check in on my mom things were good-she was sleeping . I wrote to my state inregards to this issue not only for my mom but for all the other residents there.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions