I am being banned from seeing my own mother in an assisted living facility by POA for no reason at all?

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Except for the reason my brother makes up. My brother and sister (and I use those terms loosely - I don't know how I could possibly be related to such nasty without souls human beings) have POA over my mom. My mom is in a locked floor of a horrible facility. They have banned me from seeing my mother. They say I "frazzle" her. This is totally untrue. They are abusing their POA and basically just waiting for her to die. They have killed her little dog, taken eveything from her home; written checks to themselves; and are just plain horrible, cruel self-centered people - vultures circling. I once had POA and had my mom in a very nice facility. They managed to get her out of the facility and back into her home (which was totally unsafe). My other brother, who is an alcoholic and drug addict was the one taking care of her. He is no better than the other two siblings. He threatened to kill me and the police would not put a restraining order on him. I was eventually taken out of mom's will and out of her life through lies and threats. To me it is not about the money; it is about being able to see my mom. This is so sad and so wrong. The nursing home won't allow me in and the brother (POA) threatened me that if I came by the nursing home, he would file a restraining order on me and he told the nursing home to call the police and have me arrested if I ever showed up. This is wrong and ever so cruel. God knows I am good and have always been in the right; but I am afraid of all of them. They are just mean, souless, vindictive, selfish beings. I have contacted several attorneys, but all they want is money I cannot afford to pay. It seems like there is no one else to call. The police cannot give me an answer; I can't find an advocate to help me in this situation. The last thing my mom said to me when the nurse (CNA) kicked me out was "that damn 'Bobby' "- the one with the POA. I tried to talk to the director of the home and the social worker; but they didn't care either....their response "work it out with you brother or sister"; "they only want the best for your mom". This is such a pile of lies - they only want her money. This is why she is in such a horrible depressing place with NO stimulation. It is the best way to ensure, they will inherit more money in the end. So sad, so pathetic. I will not speak to any of them. They are so mean and threatening. Any direction you can give or phone # to call would be greatly appreciated. My mom is 91 years old and has some dementia. I am sure by now they have convinced her I don't want to see her. This is so not true. I am saddened to the core; and rely on my faith to keep my spirits up. There is so much more to this story; but so difficult to tell.

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To MilitaryRetired,

EVEN if that's true, and you DON'T KNOW that it is, how is that kind of Hit and Run answer helpful do the questioner in any way?

What were you, a comandante or a drill sergeant or something?

Does making someone else feel bad make you feel good about yourself?

Sheesh...
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Melodramatic and extremely disfunctional.
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I'm so sorry to hear you have evil relatives & how they are treating you & your mom.
But how did they kill your moms dog?
Did they take have some quack vet out the dog down??
I say "quack" because 99% of vets will not put an animal down unless it is terminal and/or viscous.
For killing the dog, that right there tells me these people are nasty %#€£€#€!
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heartbroken3, reading your story was like taking a page out of my own book. There comes a point when the cost of chasing justice and trying to change the behavior of your "bio-sibs" becomes too much. I have been through it all--bankrupted myself getting my own lawyer, petitions to courts that don't care, and people motivated by greed and selfishness. This will hurt--Perhaps it is time to let your mother go. You did what was humanly possible, and that has to be enough. I became physically ill fighting a fight I was never meant to win. Cherish your memories, as that may be all you're left with in the end. If you absolutely must take it further, contact Adult Protective Services and file an elder abuse complaint. In addition, if she has dementia, it is illegal for her to sign documents. This should be a "red flag" in any investigation. Best of luck. My thoughts and prayers are with you. And good wishes go out to all going through this nightmare.
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They killed her dog???? OMFG.
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Lets hope she doesn't need Medicaid. They will go back five yearsand question payments having nothing to do with her. This may keep her from getting help. Too bad u can't afford a lawyer. They r abusing their POAs.
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for some reason the moderators knocked my initial reply to this thread in the head . i musta been calling the poa 4 letter terms of affection or something .
cant win em all i guess .
you really have to be respectful and non threatening to the NH staff . my cuz threatened to ban me from visiting my aunt but nh staff had already seen very nice interaction between my aunt and i and they kinda foo foo - ed cuz till she mellowed out .
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It sounds as if there is a lot of dysfunction going on within the family. I'm not sure how much it would help, but in some states the Durable Power of Attorney is required to file an Annual Account with the Clerk of Court for the person's estate they are handling. They must provide a list of all expenditures, deposits, bank statements, receipts, etc. This material is examined and you have to prove why the checks were written. They have to be for legitimate expenses. If not, they may get into trouble and be removed from their position. I'd check to see if that is required within your state and if the record is public.
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Today, 3/8/16, I am ready to just give up. One POA (nasty non-brother) got through on my cell phone today. He was blocked from my phone (as he had been sending me mean texts, threats and more). I could have used that as proof, but when I got a new cell phone, all of my texts were wiped clean and could not be recovered! His text said : "if I want to go see mom, I MUST GO THROUGH HIM OR MY NASTY POA SISTER". The POAs are both on a Power Trip! I will not be monitored by a sociopath & pathological liar. Yes, he is one; but I cannot prove that because of the stolen docs (documentation from the psych) out of my mom's (and my former safety deposit box). I am not being stubborn, but there is no way I am going to speak with either one of these liars, thieves, and a bunch of other adjectives to describe them. I am an educated adult, but apparently not street wise or cruel enough. The dumb non-brother POA never even graduated high school, but claims in his Linkedin profile, he graduated from the U of M - gosh, how did he do that without even a high school diploma - amazing. He also has two biological kids he abandoned; used mom's money to pay the IRS in backtaxes, scammed I don't know how many people. I can't believe he is not locked up! Sorry, I'm just venting! They have completely put me through h*ll and I am not going to let them continue this abuse on me, too. They got EVERYTHING they wanted. They make me sick - literally. I will not have a stroke over them, I have my wonderful boys and husband to live for. Thank you, everyone, for supporting me. I just mentally cannot take this anymore. At least, the last thing I said to my mom was that I love her. If she had just believed I was the one who only wanted to protect her and do the best for her, none of this would have ever happened. But, she didn't and I have long since forgiven her for that mistake; I even prayed for the crazies who did all of this to her and are still at it. But this is just all too much. The ombudsman I tried to contact was of absolutely no use. I need a zillion hugs. Thanks, again, all you wonderful strangers!
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to help you: get the bank & account number of the bank where your mom's accounts are-this will help DCF in their investigation. Anything that you have of proof of what they are doing, which is considered elder abuse by the way, give it to them or make copies & give them. If you have your mom's social security number this helps too....I was told that all the children can have POA, that is to keep a system of checks & balances on your mom's financial state-Now i know some states are different, so you would have to just consult w/an attorney in your state-that will not cost much. I would still send a letter to your mom anyway.
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