How do I balance caring for my elderly father with my family and work life?

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It is becoming more difficult as we try to include him in our everyday lives. He is becoming physicaly less agile and moody as he deals with my mother being in a nursing home. I have sibling help but I think I'm becoming obsessed with keeping him entertained so that he doesn't dwell on Mom. How do I get myself to ease on the obsession?

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Sherry~Does dad live with you? May I suggest that if you are becoming obsessed with keeping him entertained, it reduces the need for your siblings to help because they know you will do it. I know it is difficult to be in your position, but you may need to set boundaries and limits. If dad is living alone, provide him with sources of entertainment he can do on his own. Once a week, take him out for lunch or dinner, to the zoo, or whatever he enjoys.
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Hi sherry50, well, I think you made a great start by seeing that you do need balance! :0) I don't really have a good answer for you but I do know, for myself, that I tend to want to fix other people's problems as a way of ignoring my own needs. I mean, for instance, awhile back I was obsessed with my brother's mental health. His drinking and hoarding ( trash) had me so worried. And I do have a right to be worried but I was obsessed ( I should tell you I have OCD- a lovely inherited trait in my family). I wanted to change him , fix him. All the while I was drinking too much myself!! I did talk to him one night about his drinking -while drinking- and that is when I realized I had my own issues. Sooooo- though I still worry ( and pray) I decided to concentrate on myself and cahnge my bad habits. But this is me. I don't know if you are displacing your anxiety about your Mom being in a nursing home or not. Just a thought. But it is good to remember, IMO, that you are not responsible for someone's emotions. You can help your Dad and love him but , ultimately, you cannot make him feel a certain way. If he wants to dwell he will. IMO. I guess my suggestion is to just try and keep your own life balanced and let your Dad see you happy. Maybe if he sees that you are happy with life's challenges he can let himself be happy. Just my thoughts. Sorry if I am way off base!
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