Am I a horrible daughter because I don't care anymore what happens to my mother, who had mental issues and was so abusive and controlling that both my sister and I are still over 50 years later so broken and barely emotionally functional? She had what seems to be rapid onset dimentia over the last two months and all of us have dropped everything in our lives to care for her...taking shifts staying at her house. All three of our parents have dimentia. My stepdad was diagnosed over a year ago and is currently in a care facility receiving rehab for a brain bleed. My mom was having issues with memory a few weeks before my dad went to the hospital and then it seemed like a rapid decline happened. She immediately began getting manic, aggressive and verbally abusive. I was a caregiver at the facility where our Dad lives for three years. I never experienced anyone with dimentia as agressive as my mom. All of us have done everything in ourpower to support her and make her feel safe and cared for but the last several weeks have been unbearable and all of us decided today that we are done. She is violent, agressive and so verbally abusive that it is damaging all of us so much that we are shutting down physically, emotionally and mentally. She repeatedly tries to pick fights and if you dont engage, or walk away when nothing defuses her, she will follow you, screaming and cursing. If you ignore her she will fly at you and get within an inch of your face and start swinging her arms around like shes gonna smack you across the face. It's terrifying. She looks insane. She came after my brother the other day during one of those episodes and he finally had to pick her up, set her outside the door ,close it and leaned against to keep her from coming after him.. She screamed and pounded on it until she got tired and went upstairs. She got so violent the other day and was hitting herself in the face and threatening to take off in the car and kill herself. We called the police and the minute they showed up, instantly she became this sweet old lady who was having problems with her memory. When the police came out they said she didn't seem like she was a danger to herself or anyone else so until something happened there is nothing they could do. The minute they left she came downstairs smiling, and said 'well I took care of that didn't I'? and screamed at us to 'get the hell out of her g d house'! My sister (Who has spent the last two years fighting breast cancer )started bawling and my mom looked at her and smiled.dimentia. My sister raised me and I would do anything for her. She is the kindest, gentlest person I know. In that moment I hated my mother and I dont care if she's old or sick because the truth isshe is just plain evil. I remember seeing her behave like this when I was little. The dimentia just seems to have made her more vicous and proficient in her abilities to manipulate people. So all of us are walking away to save ourselves. The only problem with that is that they are sending my stepdad home in two weeks. My mom refuses to let us set up in home care and says she will take care of him.They have a history of vicious fights.because my mom loke I said loves to pick fights and will keep at him until he looses his temper. Although he probably won't be able to do any damage to her in his condition. We have told the rehab that it is not a safe environment for him. But they don' t seem to be too concerned because my mom behaves herself when she goes to see him. My brother who lived with them is moving out. We have tried to get accross to the police, her doctor, and anyone else involved how severe her issues are, but she is too good at controlling herself in public. No one can intervene until something bad enough happens that requires emergency intervention. I suppose all four of us are going to hell for not taking care of our mom. But our lives have been hell so I suppose we will feel right at home. I guess what I want to know is.. is there ever a point when nothing you do is enough and its okay to abandon your mother?