How do I manage to avoid bankruptcy while taking care of Mom?

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Is there financial help for caregivers whose parent has money, but won't share why I take care of her? I can't work full time while doing this and she has too much money for programs that may help me pay my bills while caring for her. She won't qualify for any programs where I can apply to be a paid caregiver. She would rather me go back to work full time and kill myself trying to help her in the mornings, noon and night while working instead of helping me with money! There is no reasoning with her. I've tried. Is there anything I can do? She is of 100% sound mind. She is just cheap and stubborn. I can't just leave her high and dry! Help!

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Has your mother always been self-centered, or is this something new with aging?

What kind of help does mother need morning, noon, and night?

She wants you take a job. Actually, that might be best for you. Not many people who work go home for lunch, and you won't either, of course. And then you are going to join your department's bowling league and won't be home until late on Tuesdays. And the Chinese Cooking class on Thursdays starts so soon after work it doesn't make sense to go home first.

What would happen to her if you left her on her own more? What are her impairments?
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caseyneel, just curious if your Mom did work full time during any point of time. If not, then she wouldn't understand that you need to work to save money for the future.

Do you live with Mom? If yes, sometimes what happens is the adult/child dynamics takes over... thus, once again you are the child. Thus in her eyes you are a teenager, and you follow by her rules.

What type of health issues does your Mom have that require you to be there to help her? Ask her what would she do if for some reason you weren't there any more? What would she do? Have her think about it.

If Mom can afford to pay you a decent wage, then she can afford to hire a caregiver. You need to get back into the workforce. A place where you not only get a wage, but health insurance, possible 401k, maybe profit sharing, vacation paid days, sick paid days, etc. If Mom wasn't so stubborn, she would want to make sure YOU are doing well, and have money so you can live.
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I would go to work. Tell her you can only help ___ amount of time on ___ days and leave it at that. She will need to either pay someone else or you. If she decides to pay you, put everything in writing.
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Unfortunately no. The state and federal programs follow patient. If your parent is not willing to pay you, you will need to work and she can pay someone else when you scale back. She is leaving you high and dry. You may need to rethink your ability to help unpaid. So sorry.
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