My aunt's mental state declined as a result of scar tissue in her brain from radiation treatments for her cancer. Her cancer is gone, but she now has frequent boughts of confusion and needs help caring for herself. Her husband and daughter have control of her care. Her daughter has made several comments that suggest she has not been giving my aunt all of her medications, but nothing that could be proved. In addition, I have also heard stories from various family members of instances where they have let her sit in soiled garments for hours or forgotten to feed her. They deny this. I have also heard stories in which her husband calls her "a hideous thing" and "grotesque monster". Again, I cannot prove these things. I live several states away and I am getting my information from secondary sources. No one ever called APS because they did not want to upset my aunt or cause a rift in the family.
Recently, her family allowed a case of shingles to advance so far that my aunt swelled terribly and had to be hospitalized and fed with a feeding tube. In the hospital, under the proper care and medications, she recovered quickly and was doing well. However, instead of taking her home, they put her in a hospice. There was no information or indication that a hospice is necessary at this time. When her family was questioned by my aunt's brothers and sisters, they were told that she was sent there to die and would not recover.
To date, my aunt has not been told (and is not allowed to know) that she is in a hospice for the rest of her life. Her family has instructed everyone to tell her that she was just moved to another facility to get better - they said she wouldn't know the difference and that she would die soon anyway. She knows that difference, she keeps asking when she will get to go home. There is no evidence she is dying. In addition, none of her children (nor her husband) have gone to visit her since she has been moved. My aunts and several other cousins have been to visit her and say that she is alert and doing well. There is no evidence that she is dying or as cognitively deficient as her daughter keeps implying. We believe that her previous cognitive difficulties were due to improper administration of medication, poor diet, and anger over poor care (even though we know that she can speak, she won't speak to her daughter when she is in the room).
Because of her diminished mental capacity, and there obviously is some confusion and difficulty caring for herself, she cannot legally appoint another caretaker. Her daughter will not willingly give up this power, and her husband just wants her "disgusting out of his sight." My aunts and uncles want to know if there is anything they can do to gain control of her care so that they can work with her to pick a facility of her choosing or to provide home health care if possible (though we do not think it is a good idea based on her families past behavior).
Is there anything we can do?