Aunt was diagnosed with dementia and wants me to take over her trust. Do I sound pushy or wrong asking her if she knows what she's doing?

If your aunt has dementia I'm not sure if she legally can change the trust arrangement. What state is she in? Are you sure she doesn't mean PoA? Is is possible for you to ask her for the name and contact info of the attorney and talk to him/her about it directly?

This involves Power of Attorney and being made TRUSTEE of the Trust so that you can act in its behalf. This is a power conferred on you by your aunt and it sounds as though she has some assets. You and she need now to see a Lawyer who does Trust and Estate, and you need both to sit with this person to draw up documents. These need to be legal papers well understood by your Aunt, as this is something she is asking you to do for her. These documents should state, if you fear she is headed into dementia, that the document's permission to function on behalf of the trust doesn't end in the case of your Aunt's losing her faculties. OTHERWISE you would have to do this all over again with a guardianship, and may have to anyway. The first thing I will say to you is that this is not EASY and there is a learning curve. You will be responsible for careful record keeping and files, for decisions for your Aunt when she cannot make them. I did this for one year for my brother, until his death, and I will tell you there was a major learning curve and I had just, after a year of struggling with every entity on earth from the DMV to IRS to SS to Banks to Insurance Companies, to gardeners, to supplemental policies, doctors, hospitalizations and everything else (and this was a SIMPLE estate and trust in which I am the executor and trustee on his death and his only living relative and beneficiary. So be CERTAIN you want this. The lawyer will examine your aunt's ability to understand what she is doing with you OUT OF THE ROOM if he or she is worth his or her salt. If there is any question about her mental capability to understand and ask you to act for her, then the lawyer will not draw up these documents. Wishing you good luck. PM me if there are questions you think I could answer if you take this on. Keep a DIARY. In ink composition book with no tear outs or erasures. If other family members end legally on your door step your records need to be meticulous. Remember, while your Aunt is able to make her own decisions then you act FOR her. You do as SHE says, not as you might think is right. GOOD LUCK! I am now settling the estate, and on another curve. Much is going to depend on your aunts level of dementia and her ability to make decisions. A Lawyer when he questions her is not going to want to know what the last four Presidents are named going backwards. He is going to want to know if she UNDERSTANDS that she is conferring power over all of her finances to YOU, and if that is her wish. They know how to do this. They are staking their license to practice on how they do it.

Sidsdaughter, Trusts are NOT easy to understand; they can be very complex. If there are assets in stocks, mutuals and and IRA, that complicates the situation.

I wouldn't necessarily let her lack of understanding be a deterrence to your acceptance, but rather an indication that it's appropriate for another meeting with her attorney before anything is finalized.