I have an 86-year-old dad who lives in a skilled nursing facility. He is an amputee and has dementia. I am age 42, by the way. Today I received a call from the home in regards to hospice care for him. The home wanted to know if I would be interested in that. As of right now, no one knows about this except the home, myself, and my husband (I mean other family members). I assume this means that his doctor thinks that he maybe has only a few months to live. I will soon meet with someone (I assume) to discuss it more. So in other words, my dad is doing very poorly. He is angry all the time and very combative, and his dementia seems pretty moderate to severe. He still knows who I and my husband are, but trying to have a conversation with him is pointless. He seldom eats, and has lost a lot of weight, but he is still pretty strong and spry and often swipes at and hits those who try to help him. He is just very mean and very unpleasant to be around. NOTHING makes him happy. Nothing. We have tried everything that we could think of for the past year to make him as comfortable and happy as we can. He is on a puree diet (doctor's orders - not mine). I have a couple of older aunts who are about 10-12 years younger than he is. One is his sister, and the other is his sister-in-law (her husband - my uncle - is now deceased). Anyway, all they do is gossip about me. I think they are basically accusing me of "starving" my dad. My aunt (his sister) will go and visit him when I and my husband are not there and claim that he "begs" for water or bread when she is around, and that I and the home are "starving" him so he will hurry up and die. He doesn't typically ask for those things when we are around, so I don't know what the deal is when she is around. Usually he pushes us away and slaps our hands when we try to feed him or give him his favorite milk shakes. She says he doesn't want to eat that puree "crap" they give him. The home has assured me on more than one occasion that the food they give my dad is the same they give the other residents - it has just been pureed. I know my dad well enough and he is EXTREMELY PICKY and I know that if -under usual circumstances - the food does not look appealing, he would not eat it. So I wonder if despite the fact that he has pretty bad dementia, that he can still see and recognize that the food looks unappealing and refuse to eat it? He can't eat solid food, and he often throws up after eating. I think maybe her mind is getting bad - her and his sister-in-law. And get this: she told people that the last home he was in was giving him "shock therapy". That almost sounds hysterically funny, but it really makes me so angry. How absurd. She apparently saw a lift one day that the home used to get him out of bed and she saw ear muffs and she told everyone that she had visited him and seen a shock therapy machine and that we had "destroyed his mind" with shock treatment. Any comments, anyone?