Aunt needs to go to nursing home. How can I get her out of here?

Follow
Share

My aunt has lived with me for the past 6 years now since early 2011. She's 65-66 years old and now it's gotten to the point where I can't take of her. Last night she fell in the bathroom and it took me and a friend 40 minutes to pick her up and take her to her room (she's heavy) she's blind in one eye and lives off of SSI Disability, she has bad knees ei. She has 3 brothers who all work and are married and have their own homes, problem is none of their wives want my aunt to live with them. I'm thinking we're going to have to put her in a nursing home. Thing is my aunt doesn't want to leave but it's gotten to a point where not only can I not take care of her, if she fell and my friend and I weren't home, she'd most likely be a corpse right now. How can I get her out of her?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
17

Answers

Show:
kpenders. I am so sorry. Sounds like your aunt has very poor health and chances for any recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this very difficult time.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

kpenders, bless you for caring for her as long as you did. It's in God's hands now. Keeping you in my prayers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Update: Unfortunately the stroke was really bad, she has no blood clots in her heart but the stroke pretty fried her brain and according to the doctor by tonight she's most likely be on life support, my uncles have decided that they'd most likely take her off of it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Churchmouse

In other words, the poor aunt does not have much time left?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The problem you originally posted about is no longer a problem. Provided, of course, that you are very clear with your uncles that it is not possible for your aunt to return to your home. Not now, not after rehab, not happening. Make sure of this. Call them and spell it out. Living with you must not feature in any hypothetical care plan.

I'm not sure how welcome three brothers en bloc are going to be, turning up at the hospital to deal with substantial legal matters while your aunt awaits surgery. Moreover, if it's a major stroke she's unlikely to be mentally able to deal with the POA decision. I'm sorry not to sound more sympathetic, but then again they left this on your plate for years and years and now they get round to shifting themselves?

Your aunt is diabetic, blind in one eye - from the diabetes? - and obese. She has now had two strokes, the latter one serious. It sounds as though the hospital is trying to suggest, very gently, that you prepare yourself. But that needn't stop you hoping for the best, and I do wish you and your family well.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Update: So apparently my aunt has had 2 strokes, one is an older one and now they have to do surgery for her heart and her brain. If they do the heart surgery it can mess her brain up and if they do the brain surgery for the strokes it can mess her heart up badly.

My uncles (her 3 brothers) are going to the hospital today, they have to decide what to do with her via power of attorney
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sorry that she is suddenly so ill.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

She's blind in one eye and is disabled, she gets SSI Disability and she gets medicare, or medicaid or something, whatever older disabled people get via SSI.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ok now you know what to do and what not to do. Your aunt is seriously ill and needs professional care which you cannot provide. Family needs to meet with the hospital staff, social worker, discharge worker, doctor and work out a plan for your aunt's care. Ideally it should be all immediate family but, if not, fly on your own. Make it very clear that you cannot provide care in your home. In these cases they are obliged to place her in a suitable facility. You can still play a role as a caring and concerned family member, and I hope other family members with do that too. She needs family to advocate for her. Does anyone have POA medical and financial? If not and if she is still competent that should be done ASAP. Please let us know how she is and how you are managing, Grad school is very demanding so you have a lot on your plate.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Update: My aunt did go to the hospital today after I finally called 9/11. She had a heart attack and a stroke and apparently it's serious.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions