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my aunt has the beginning stages of demtia but is in denial her attorney I hired for her is telling me to cease and desist. I am power of attorney and healthcare proxy and my aunt is acting with memory issues and now saying things untrue, Her attorney is supporting her knowing my aunt has the stages of dementia but is taking a different position . My hands are tied and I am not sure what to do. Can I have my aunt looked at from a judge point of view and how can I fire her attorney, Her aides are stealing from her and she told me one of them is touching her in ways that is not right. Please someone help me,

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Wellllll... if the attorney works for the aunt, and atty doesn't have a solid understanding of how dementia can cause someone to act, then the atty may simply be doing what he's been requested to do by his client. 
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Thinking this over, I'm curious - can an attorney, seriously, send a cease and desist instruction regarding an action that can only conceivably be for the *benefit* of his client? Is it just me, or this bloke sounding really dodgy?
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Oh my. I would resign my POA and health care proxy yesterday. Let the attorney deal with this mess.
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You can either get your own attorney and fight fire with fire, or you can resign your POA and your Healthcare Proxy and let auntie make her own way down (and out). If you have to get an attorney to deal with the other attorney, and you succeed in making an application for guardianship for example, then arguably you might be able to recoup any legal expenses from your aunt's funds because you would still be acting purely for your aunt's benefit, and not in your own interests. But it's a gamble, and you'd need to take advice on that too.

Who hired the aides, her or you? If they come from an agency, can you put in a complaint?

You say your aunt says one of the aides is touching her inappropriately. Hm, really? And what is she saying about you? If you do make any complaints, stick to facts you can verify.
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You do understand that if a person is incompetent, has dementia, is cognitively impaired, then they are not responsible for their behavior. I would learn more about dementia, if that is what she has, and let go of the resentment. It's not her fault and blame doesn't help anything. When you are the person with the fit mind, you have to rise above petty feelings and truly be an advocate for the one who is helpless and vulnerable.

Perhaps, you need to consult with your own lawyer to see where you stand and what rights and obligations you have at this point.
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thanks everyone. When I told my aunt she needs to get evaluated 3 weeks ago that is when all the nonsense started her lawyer told me to cease and desist my aunt is nasty like you can
t imagine and she closed out our checking account that I was on to help her. she is vicioius she is not good person and I really wish someone can get me legal advice. She vasilates back and forth with me christmas she was normal after I bought her a handbag. her aides are stealing from her and they love the fact that we are not on good terms. They are getting 10k per month and my aunt does not have that much money. I told her to get a live in but she refuses. she won't shower she is not able to walk chair bound and bed bound. she is impossible and now we do not talk. her lawyer is a bad person to go against me. I am my aunts only living relative. everyone is dead. I don't know what to do. I wish I can declare her incompetent she lets the aides write their paychecks. she cannot see or write or walk. and she is losing her mind. sorry I am going on and on I am just losing my mind over this and I am terribly hurt. I will never help her again but I know I need to do something before she runs out of her money. she is 75 and is like a vegetable also she is in denial
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A couple of questions
Is your aunt calling the attorney ?

Who hired her aides - and are they from an agency? Have you verified her items have been stolen ?

Depending on the stage of dementia many folks go for years accusing others of stealing and bad behavior so it's important to understand her actions are not unusual -

Since your aunt trusted you to be her POA, have you been with her to her doctor ?
It is a process but your aunt may need to see a specialist
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Your aunt may think nothing is wrong with her. It is a condition called anosognosia. No matter how you try to convince her, she will not accept that her mind is not working right. She might accept it from a doctor in the office, then promptly put the notion aside once she leaves the office. My mother has anosognosia, so I know it makes handling things more challenging. I don't try to push it on my mother that she has dementia. We don't even mention the D word around her. What I do are the things that need doing to keep life and limb together. If she says things that aren't true, I let it pass unless it is something that would do harm. If it is something bad, I say something like "X would never do that. It must have been someone else."

One thing that makes it very difficult is when they think something needs repair. My mother has been stuck on the idea that the floors need fixing and wants to call the foundation people. That one gets a firm no. The floors are fine and we don't want to spend a lot of money fixing something that is not broke.

What is it that you want to do that requires you to have a higher level of control?
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