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My 93 yr old Aunt (second mother to me) says there are people that come to her house at night & stay with her thru the night & leave in the morning. She says she speaks to them but they don't answer. She has no idea where they sleep, but they spend the night. We know she has no one visiting but aren't sure what this means and should we worry. Her sons are in the process of hiring daily part-time help to see that she takes her meds & eats enough. I check the fridge weekly & see that very little in the way of food is being used & I know she's not drinking enough fluids. She is on her second urinary tract infection w/antibiotics.....the last one left her dehydrated severely & showing stroke-like symtoms......she ended up in the hospital & rehab for a couple weeks. But her sons keep having her come home to rehab instead of a nursing home.....but then they leave her alone way too much.

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When my mother had her last UTI while at home she said there were two men who were staying upstairs in the spare bedroom and they were using her coffee pot so she scrubbed it every morning. We had previously hired two men, who came to her back door, to tell her they were going to do the lawn. She didn't answer the door. But maybe that's what she was relating to. When her UTI cleared up so did the delusions, the men were gone. A glass of cranberry juice each day helps with the UTI's.
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shamrockdonna, your aunt's vivid imagination is delusions. UTIs often cause delusions in the elderly. Clear up the infection and the delusions go away. Prevent further infections and the delusions stay away.

Delusions can also be a part of many forms of dementia.

Daily part-time help is an excellent start. See how Aunt does when she is taking her medications correctly and eating well. See how the help views her daytime behavior.

Part-time help may not be sufficient, but it is a start, and it will give you a better basis for long-term decisions.

Since she is your "second mother" I hope you and your cousins can work together to do what is best for Aunt. They don't have to allow you to have a role or to listen to your advice, but I hope with goodwill all around you can participate in her care.

Keep us informed of how this goes. We care!
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Geo, have mom eat more fruit, like watermelons, lots of water filled fruits this would help augment her intake.
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I'm having the liquid struggle with my own Mom, right now. We just had a doctor appointment, yesterday, where I tattled on her but where her doctor gave her a "talking to" about drinking more liquids.

She has almost entirely stopped drinking liquids because she gets up so much during the night. It keeps her awake. Going to bed later doesn't help. Sleeping pills didn't work for her. So, her solution is to stop drinking liquids.

Yet, even after the "talking to" she's not drinking nearly enough liquids. Today, she had one cup of herbal tea.

The doctor did mention what others here have said, which is that this can lead to other issues, such as faultier memory and worse balance (if she's falling, for example).

I wish I had some good advice. However, anything seems to be easier than getting someone to drink more liquids. My mom goes along with eating whatever I say she should eat, taking whatever medications she's told to, going for any tests she's asked to take, etc... I have gone as far as to try to give her interesting things, like a different flavor of herbal tea several times a day. The only thing that has worked, so far, is to feed her a lot of soup in order to get more liquids into her. In fact, I've fed her so much soup that she is actually starting to complain about that, so I might have to come up with yet another idea.
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Looks like she is having fun. Except for the Bladder Infection. Encourage her to drink more.
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Yes, you should be worried that she is having "guests" come visit her at night. These are delusions, and she probably is not eating enough or drinking fluids to where she is starving for nutrients. Get her some live-in full time care or it won't take long for her to die.
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Time to sit down with her sons and talk, sounds like they are trying to avoid the inevitable but things are getting dangerous now, so it is time to bite the bullet, easy to say and very hard to do.
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Oh yes you should get her into a doctor for evaluation and medications.Kinda sounds like she is 1) dementia 2) not getting enough oxygen..impairs her brain function ..she needs medical intervention.Good luck
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Yes, you should worry. She sound like she clearly has dementia (and is past the early stages). But, it's really her sons' place to act on the worry and if they're not worrying, that's a tough situation. You could offer to help them look for a suitable housing arrangement for her. Are you on good terms with your cousins?
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