What to do for an Aunt that lives alone, not near family, needs help, but denies and doesn't want it?

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She is 79 years old and is DEFINITELY showing signs of Dementia/Early Alzheimer's. She often forgets conversations, places she has gone, bank transactions she has made, etc. We are trying to step in to help, as she was never married nor had any children. We are her next of kin. We legally have no right to her medical records, yet we do have a POA and a HCP. However, she refuses for us to take her to the doctor, because we are hoping to get a mental status check on her.

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You file a section 12 also known as a Baker Act in California which results in a 72 hour psychiatric evaluation in a hospital. That determines need for placement. If her MD told her not to drive, her license is suspended. The MD does not revoke her license, the motor vehicle department does.
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OK...the Dr. finally got the POA and realized that my Aunt's situation is a safety concern and decided to talk to me. Apparently he was able to give her a Mini-Mental back in May and she scored a 12 out of 30! YIKES! He also noted that he was concerned about her driving, but since she did not list any family members to contact, she drove away. We made an appointment for next week and are going to have to talk her into/force her to go. At that point the Dr. may revoke her license, invoke the Health Care Proxy, etc. She will NOT be happy and we are not sure what to do after this point as we do not live close to her. Not sure we can just leave her at home alone without a car, all alone. Do we put her into a Memory Care Unit immediatley, file a Sec. 12 if she fights us (which she will), HELP! :-(
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I was my cousin's Durable POA and Healthcare POA. I convinced her to see the doctor, by saying that the doctor could help give her something for her memory, balance and strength. (She was not doing well.) PLUS, I explained that for her to keep her Medicare, she had to get the doctor to sign off on it.

She was afraid to go. I think deep inside she was afraid of what they might find. So, your aunt could really be scared deep inside. Try to help calm her fears and don't act like something is terribly wrong with her.

Can you convince her to go with you TOGETHER so you both can get your flu shots? You can write a note to the doctor listing all that you have seen in advance, so he knows what's going on. Then when you meet with him for the flu shot, he can chat with her, ask questions and figure out what her problem is. They might need to check for UTI too. Sometimes, that can cause dementia symptoms.
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SSSepe, you could ask your aunt what she went to all the trouble and expense of appointing POA and proxies for if she never intended them to be used.

And when she says there's nothing wrong with her, well good! Then the doctor will confirm it, and she can enjoy telling you she told you so.

(Or not, of course, but you don't have to remind her about that bit.)
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You must go to a local judge of the peace, or whatever civil process you have in your country, and ask if you or a locally appointed notary can be given proxy authority to exercise financial control. This is the first stage. Once it is done, all the other stages will gradually kick in because the proxy will give you power of decision about healthcare, residence, etc You do not have the right to read her medical records, but you can demand her doctor to talk to you and to persuade your aunt to accept your help. Also check that she has already drawn up her will. If not, she should make one before you go to the local courts to get the proxy, because while she may not be of sound mind, she may still be able to act on her own volition.

I am the legally appointed proxy for an old friend (now 85) who 10 years ago was living alone and hiding the fact that she had already been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Crooks and thieves were causing her to empty her bank account and savings. I tried to stop it at the bank but was told that the only way was to get a legal proxy signature. Luckily my friend agreed to write the letter to the local judge to ask for help, when she learned that this would get rid of the crooks.
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SSSepe, you could try telling your Aunt if she doesn't get the once or twice a year "wellness exam" that Medicare recommends, she could lose her health insurance. I know that isn't true, but sometimes we have to make up therapeutic fibs to get an elder to do what is best.
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Thank you. I am afraid that step is near. But I HAVE to convince her to go to the doctor to get an evaluation. She won't go.... :-(
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You have POA, but if you interfere she will revoke it. If you feel she is unsafe and at risk of injury, you pursue a Guardianship through the court.
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