Helping my aunt who is subject of financial abuse. Why is she mad at me?

Vstefans, it does happen, but it takes the family and police working closely to get anything done. A notorious case in our area involved a well-known religious member of the community who preyed upon an elderly lady. She made her dependent on her and her daughter, won her trust, isolated her from her family (all out of town), and proceeded to forge her name on credit cards and checks to buy thousands and thousands of dollars worth of clothes, shoes, etc. The family became suspicious, because they weren't.even allowed to talk to their sister on the phone. It breaks my heart for this elderly lady every time I think about her. When the police investigated, they found rented storage areas full of the things this abuser had bought..as well as prescription pads she had stolen to forge signatures on for meds to keep the lady asleep or out of touch with reality. When they had enough evidence, they called family members to join them. The found her in a locked room of her own home, full of all types of medications and unaware of her surroundings, and lying in her feces and urine that had been there long enough to cause lesions on her body. The abuser is still in jail, thank goodness and the efforts of the family and law enforcement! The happy ending, although I am sure she has passed away by now, is that with medical care and contact with her family, she recovered and was perfectly fine. I am sure this type of abuse has always taken place, but it took an extreme situation for this particular case to be prosecuted. Who knows how many other eldery people this woman had in her sites for the future? Another sad part of this case is that the abuser knew the husband and this lady before any of this. She knew they were wealthy, because they owned a successful business. When the husband died, all of this started... Most of us know what the LOVE of money can do... It certainly did it to this well-known and respected woman, who did these unthinkable acts! Maybe that contributed to my being overly protective of my mom when she became ill? There a a lesson in this for all of us who have elderly loved ones....and even for those who care about the elderly we don't know. There are predators around in sheep's clothing, and they must be stopped or, as you said, they will move on to the next victim.

Chemkrd, this response is in no way directed to you personally. It sounds as if you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Your aunt is fortunate to have such a caring niece! Please keep the police informed about this Kathy. With persistence, perhaps they will take action that will keep her from doing this to someone else? Your immediate concern, of course, is the safety of your aunt...and her precious pet.

Update on aunt: hearing is scheduled in probate and attorney I hired feels sure they will appoint an ad litem guardian (temp guardian from the court).

My aunt still is not convinced anything is wrong; little does she know that she might be discharged from the nursing home since the bill isn't being paid. (Per social worker at nursing home I can't be told anything since I am not POA. She is not convinced about Kathy; if she can fool a younger person, a professional,
imagine what she is doing to my aunt!

Nor are her other bills being paid(cable was left on at her house, now there is a huge bill there) although Kathy's are sure getting paid!

She told my aunt the court hearing is "something about her house"; I realize she has her totally brainwashed. It's called undue influence and there are some very interesting articles written by people in law or psychology on how an abuser gains power over someone - isolating them, convincing them only THEY care, poisoning their relationships against other people.

Anyway, I am bring a couple of family members to the hearing; please keep us in your prayers. I want to get this parasite away from my aunt. Her going to jail would be a huge bonus, but not much hope of that.

This Kathy woman sounds like a shameless fraud and charlatan - and it's the shamelessness of it that really turns the stomach. Go get 'er, gal! Wishing you the best of luck and a nice, sensible judge.

Good for you for pushing this for her. In my job I see undue influence in 80 percent of the cases that we are brought into. Good Luck at the hearing and keep us posted. We are saying prayers!

Update: went to court regarding my aunt. unbelievably neither the police or APS could find any wrongdoing related to Kathy. They had a joint account, so I guess it's perfectly fine for Kathy to spend $50K of my aunt's money. And, in court in front of the judge my aunt said she is happy with Kathy as her POA, so the arrangement is not going to change.

The judge heard Kathy and my aunt and that was that; she didn't let the family (myself, my partner and my sister) say a thing. It was absolutely sickening.

I had heard the justice system was a joke but you have to experience it pers

whoops, posted before I was done. Sorry, don't expect much from the police or other authorities when it comes to the elderly. No wonder people commit this crime; it's a snap to get away with!

What did Kathy claim to have spent your aunt's 50K on??? Thermal vests and sensible shoes?!

Hope Medicaid comes knocking soon!

Kathy didn't have to answer anything. She came out smelling like a rose.

That's awful news. I am so sorry!

YOU TRIED!!! Kudos and hugs to you for that...

So sorry that this was the outcome.

When Aunt signed into NH, who signed as responsible party?

Kathy signed her into NH. She has done banking for my aunt so there is a joint account and now she has almost emptied it. My family is not interested in getting her stuff or money but this just seems so unfair. The authorities are just useless if you ask me. Kathy has her brain washed; plus at this point I don't think my aunt really cares. Very disappointing.

If Kathy signed as responsible party, then Kathy foots the bill.

No, apparently if you put someone on to a joint account they can do anything they like legally with the money. Kathy may be just this side of legal, but she smells like a stinkweed if you ask me. Maybe see an eldercare attorney, and though criminal charges won't stick, there might be something on the civil side you can do. If it came to a guardianship hearing, Kathy's behavior with your mom's money would not win anyone over to her side.