Aunt Barb is declining, lost weight, skin starting to breakdown on her spine refuses to eat or to get out of bed. Any advice?

Lorraine you are asking for peace for yourself as well as for your aunt, who is dying. Please make sure that you get her enough pain medication, and care for her skin that would help (though probably pain medication may be all you need). Have courage, and give her love through her last time. Tell her that her love will stay with you when she is gone. Very best wishes, Margaret.

Lorraine, do you have Hospice involved, if you don't, I highly reccomend that you do so now. Your Auntie is in need of pain relief, and her weight loss is probably from her having little appetite, and therefore her skin isn't getting adequate nourishment and then unfortunately the skin is more prone to "breakdown" as you mentioned, which all points to the probability that Auntie is nearing the end of her life and needs additional care, and you need additional help in caring for her.

It is a difficult time, it's so hard to say goodbye to those we love, but you are doing an amazing job of loving her and caring for her as you have been. It does sound like comfort care is what she needs now.

I reccomend you call Auntie's Dr, tell them where she is at with her declining health, and request a Hospice evaluation. They will be there with you every step of the way, and will answer any questions you have of her current health status. Good luck!

If she's in pain, I'd try to address that immediately. Is Hospice involved? They have been great with my LO and I am assured that my LO, who is near the end, is getting everything she needs and will not suffer.

Is Hospice in the picture?
If so you should contact them and indicate that she is in pain and she needs medication adjusted. Most Hospice will bring a patient to an In Patient Unit to control pain and manage symptoms.
If she is not on Hospice please call now. You can call any Hospice and they will have someone evaluate the patient and most of the time within a day you will have all the help you can get.
For now...
hold her hand
Tell her you love her,
If she is not eating or drinking use swabs moistened with water to keep her lips and mouth moist. Do not use a lot of water as she can choke on water that gets down her throat.
When you turn her cushion legs and arms so bony knees, ankles and elbows do not cause discomfort to other parts of her.
You are doing the best you can for her.

I second or third or 4th hospice.

Please contact hospice in your area. They will provide some CG but more importantly provide your Aunt comfort and pain control. There is no reason to suffer at end of life with the availability of hospice.

Yes Auntie is on HOSPICE THEY are good she has meds ....I am kinda feeling guilty and afraid of the meds they are so strong i follow drs orders but use a bit less.. shes so frail and delicate EVERYTHING HURTS her every time I move her she lets me know it hurts ...you know Im also afraid shell like snap out of it and just get up and start walking and fall when my back is turned ....it is also so hard to sleep Im afraid to sleep ...Thank you all for your advice Thank you all

The pain meds can't help her if you don't give her the full dose. Pain meds being strong is the nature of pain meds. I know for my wife is on two of them.

She sounds far too weak to just snap out of it and start walking.

Nor is it good for you to experience sleep deprivation. Who know who many days and nights this may go on. Is there someone you can call to give you time to sleep at night?

The skin breaks down because of lack of nutrition. Blood flow going to heart and brain. Skin is colleateral damage. That may sound cold, but alas, that's how it is.
I am having a hard time processing some of the end of life very graphic images. I am. This is very fresh for me. Less than 24 hours.

As a previous poster said, the pain meds, in full strength, only help if they get them.

Dont be afraid of morphine cocktail. Don't. It helped our mom breathe better than supplemental oxygen. Our mom's respiration rate at end of life, hovered around 9 to 12. On,morphine it went to 16. Higher number, the better.

Like I said, this is pretty fresh for me. Not yet 24 hours. I am having a hard time with some of end of life graphic images.,I hope they go away at some point.

At end of life, they can't articulate pain. They can't. Be proactive. Best to you. This is the hardest thing I have ever faced and I have had some doozies.

Take care of you too.

Eta. Sounds like Aunt barb very lucky to have you. Blessings and peace to aunt barb

((((((hugs)))) Lorraine. This is a very tough time. Please give Aunt Barb the drugs she needs for pain relief. My mother passed in December. I told them to give her what worked. At that stage of her life, comfort was the most important thing. Seeing a loved one go through this is very sad. Anticipating losing a loved one is very sad, We understand that letting go can be very difficult. Prayers for peace for you and your aunt,

This is Lorraine About Auntie so turns out Auntie had a Urniary tract infection we put her on antibiotics for 10 days and after that she is kinda better her appetite has increased but she's still so very weak I'm really not expecting too much improvement to soon ....at least she's eating again!!

Lorraine, glad to hear Auntie is feeling better! She is blessed to have you on her side. Blessings to both of you and keep us updated!