Caregiver advice needed please. My Aunt is 86 yrs old. With signs of dementia. As of now she is competent to make her own decisions. But, her memory is fading and forgetting alot these days. As good days & bad days. She can be very hateful at times on her bad days. My Aunt decided she wanted to get her Living Will done a few weeks back.
So, I took her to her attorney to get this done as she wished to do. She made me her executor of her will. Her attorney told me he felt since my Aunt's memory isn't very good anymore that it's best she has a POA. So, I was appointed her executor and Durable POA as financial & healthcare.
(Keep in mind she is in her sound mind as competent to make her own decisions)
I ask my Aunt many questions as when was the last time you been to a doctor?
When is your next appointment to the doctor?
Who is your doctor?
Do you have a visiting nurce? If so,when does she visit you?
She tells me she was just at the doctor last month. She tells me her visiting nurse comes once a month. I visit my Aunt 3 times a week. I never ran into a visiting nurse at her home. Or signs that one was ever there. Throughout my life I always followed my gut. My gut never done me wrong. My gut tells me that my Aunt is affraid to go to a doctor. Reason, the doctor may find her not competent .
What do I do?
I can't force her to see a doctor. She was never told by a doctor yet she wasn't competent to make her own decisions. But, she has dementia but, not taking pills for dementia yet. Seems I'm stuck anywhere I turn. Her dementia is getting bad. She has a runny nose and cough for over a month now. I keep telling her to go to her doctor. She tells me she has a Dr. appointment next month but, yet to see that happen. I was told I need to take these POA papers into her doctor. Well, I don't know who her doctor is? I asked my Aunt who's her Doctor? She tells me a name I looked the name up and it's a dentist not a health doctor.
My Aunt's lieing to me about things. Now it seems I need to go behind her back to get this information? She appointed me her Durable POA for her financial & healthcare. It's my job as POA to know this information.
By rights she needs a visiting nurse to see her at least twice a week if not more. I need to hire a part time caregiver to help me out. As of now I'm her caregiver. I do everything she needs. She dosn't want to spend any money for a visiting nurse or for a caregiver. She is very tight with her money. I don't get paid to be her caregiver. But, I am her caregiver. In ways it's saving her tons of money for me being her caregiver but, it's hurting me in return. Costing me gas cost and my time from my family. I asked my aunt at the start what does she want?
She replied to me, she wants to live in her home alone on her own. I told her ok. I will do all I can to not place you in a nursing home as agreed.
Now this is causing problems. I'm losing money out of my pocket and my time away from my family and she isn't welling to see a doctor. I feel she is affraid to go to a doctor. If she does they may find her not competent. All I want to do is get her checkedout and her cold.
What can I do as her POA?