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A few years ago, my aunt was visiting my dad and I and in the morning as I was getting coffee got in my face and accused me of biting her on the lip...I have/had no idea of what in the world she was talking about....She also accused me of other things that didn't happen...is this dementia? Alzheimers? she just died and was 83.

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It certainly sounds like a form of dementia or mental illness: my 97-year-old MIL, very much alive, for years has been accusing my husband and I (who had to move into her house years 30 years ago to take care of her aging older sisters and eventually her) of: renting out the second floor to strangers (we live there), having painters come in to do the stairwell; trying to take her house away from her because we are cutting the grass/shoveling snow/painting storm windows; that we arrived on her doorstep years ago without a dime and she had to buy us clothes and support us, etc., etc., etc. The accusations have been to our face (usually in a public place so she has an audience) or to her other children, who only came to visit on high holidays. It's partially an attention getting device, but considering the repetition over the years, we are convinced she has been slightly 'off' for most of her life. We also had to learn to ignore it because some of the accusations just hurt and aren't true -- and sometimes when they come out of left field, somewhat bewildering and it's hard not to burst out laughing. It is a very unfortunate situation for family or a caretaker to be in so it helps to have support from the others around her. People like this can sound very convincing even when they are totally off base.
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There are certain types of dementia, not necessarily Alzheimer's, where patients get it fixed in their heads that someone did something or something happened and you can't convince them otherwise. These things to tend to have a great deal of emotions attached to them, so they are remembered much longer than ordinary, mundane occurences. The patient remains absolutely convinced that what they think was said or done actually happened.

In an odd way, it is fortunate that she has crossed over and can no longer continue making accusations. With this kind of problem, added to suspicion and paranoia, the difficulty usually accelerates to a very uncomfortable degree prior to the patient losing more cognisance of their being and/or awareness and long before it gets better.
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my mother has said for months that my sister had slapped her while she was visiting for a week. When this so called incident happened I had been there and saw no such thing happen. You cannot tell her otherwise. Yes, she has seen the doctor and yes her dementia is getting worse. She has no short term memory and asks the same questions constantly. She still lives alone but not far from me. She can pass the neurological tests but the worries are constant.
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Obviously the question was posed because it was an unresolved issue for Melody12. I hope that she has received some sort of closure by getting an answer. None of us are here to criticize. We are here soley to be heard and hopefully answered. We definitely are not the "grammar police". Thank you.
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Had to place my Mom into a nursing home 4 months ago, at that time the doctor placed her in Hospice. She cannot walk, move or feed herself, she still talks although at times she barely whispers. Mom has always offered to pay $100 to get her out of the nursing home, she will offer it to anyone within hearing distance. She gets very agitated when the attendants are talking or taking care of another resident, to the point where she orders, begs, pleads with me to bring her home. I explain to her that I cannot lift her or take care of her as well as the nursing home is. She then accuses me of dumping her there and not wanting to take care of her. My husband and I are 63 and she is 88, we did take care of her for 3 years, but it just became to difficult. She will tell me something that is totally false, example; "You won't believe whats going on in here. Get me out of here." We take her for a ride and ask what's going on and she will say nothing. She says she will live in our barn, we have no barn. I feel so bad after I visit her. She has always been a half glass full type person. Nothing I do pleases her. I know she really believe everything she says, but none of it true. Some of it did happen but it happened months or years ago. What can you say to a person with dementia to calm them down. I visit her everyday.
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BoniChak and Medeaa -
You are both wise and compassionate and knowledgeable, and you may be right about trolls. I have no idea who you think it is. I'm not quite sure what a troll is.

Whenever anyone says, "That person is just a troll," I cringe. It sounds so unwelcoming. As Melody12 says, it isn't always easy to figure out how this site works. There probably are LOTS of people who find us, post a question, and never return. Is that so bad? Yes, it's frustrating to craft a reply to a specific question, really engaging with the poster, and never knowing if it was even read.
But the next person to have that problem will read the question, and she or he will engage with the question and your response. So it isn't wasted, after all.

Can you please slow down a little before declaring trollhood? We and especially newcomers are thin-skinned and easily wounded.

Love ya both.
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I am very glad the question was asked. I am going through this right now with my mom. She is 70 and has been on anxiety meds for 40 years. She has copd and on oxygen 24/7. 5 years ago she had a very tramstic situation where her husband of 20 years went to prison for 16 years for rape. Now she is in a nursing home and she is accusing the staff of raping her roommate. They investigated and found no evidence. She won't talk on the phone because she says it bugged. I went on vacation over the holidays and while gone the nursing home talked her into signing herself into the psychiatric ward at the hospital. I have no POA because she won't give it. They are trying new meds to see if it helps and running other tests to see if there is a medical reason. I think she was so traumatized that her anxiety has turned to parinoia and her delusions are fixed on events that she has lived through. The sad part is she blames me for all of it and I was no part if any of it except trying to help her pick up the pieces of her life and be there for her. I moved her intoy home 2 years ago after she broke her back due to ostioperosis (sp) 5 times over a 12 month period. Now she accuses me of stealing her house. All I've done is continue to make the house payment and utility payments to see if she can go home. Now Medicaid will sell it after 13 months if she is still in nursing home. I'm an only child but my adult daughter helps me visit her. Visits are extremely hard because she is so afraid and yells at me then begs me to take her home.
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I read more and she is deceased? Well, too late for the doctor now, but perhaps my reply will help someone else.
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I think this is a bogus post, but it did it's job, it created discord, too bad. If someone does not share anything in their profile, I am not wasting my good energy responding, at it is ludicrous what is being asked isn't it really. Ignore these posts imo
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Wow up all night 57 thats my age!! Im sorry you are going thru that, I am to but with my Dad whos 88 and lives alone since my moms passing. I could not deal with it if I lived with him so I commend you!! Even the love I have for my dad dosnt keep me from feeling angry and us getting into heated discussion where I end up leaving. My heart goes out to you I have watched my mom go thru this for years and im sure it played in part of her death. Please hold on to yourself and your son...this too shall pass. Xoco
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