Does anyone attend caregiver support groups and do they help?

Follow
Share

I feel abandoned by family and friends.. I know I NEED counseling but cannot afford it. Thought maybe a support group might be next best thing. caregiving for my Alcoholic narcissist mother for the last year and a half has changed me as a person. Hate the person I am becoming , Im full of resentment and just rage lately. She RUINED my childhood. I got out a SIXTEEN and made a wonderful life for myself and now she is ruining my life AGAIN. Shes on a waiting list for an apartment but it could still be 10 months before she goes. don't know how I will survive it .I have never felt more hopeless in my whole life.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
23

Answers

Show:
1 2 3
Not excuses. I have a year old granddaughter and told our mom that they already go to 3 places on holidays and she could spend it here with us if she wants too. My mom understands that. It's too much travel in one day for a little kid. That is over an hour away from all of us where our mom will be living. IF that's an excuse it's a good one.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

One solution that many have talked about on this site is if their parent (in this case) goes into the hospital, then when it's release time, you say they cannot come back to your home. The hospital discharge planner then has to find another place to put the patient. So if your mom has any reason at all to go to the ER, call 911 and have her taken to the hospital. Sneaky, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

And great job Countrymouse for cutting through the finger pointing between sister to clearly illuminate that mom has caused all of the hard feelings and hurt by not planning for her own senior years. We can all learn from these examples.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Er, okay.

I would like to thank this family for showing all of us, and especially me, what can happen to a family when people don't take responsibility, or don't have the ability to do it, for planning their old age. Could be for any reason, blameworthy or otherwise, but the moral is that if you drop all responsibility for your welfare on your kids it can tear them up and tear them apart. Neither of you is explicitly blaming your mother for this conflict, but I do. Not that it matters whether she's to blame or not - she still needs looking after somehow, and you do still all care very much what becomes of her or you wouldn't be going through this.

Golflady, you're right, she knows nothing. But how could she? CVSM, you're right, you shouldn't take the blame for decisions you didn't control - but you have no idea, you couldn't have any idea, of the level of anger and panic your sister is feeling or the sheer 24/7 devastation her life is suffering right now. I know the blame feels unfair to you, but forgive it. The unfairness of what she's going through is enough to make anyone want to spread it around.

Please start again. If you were close before, then please start again.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

oh and notice all the EXCUSES she put in her post ??????? The PHONE IN DAUGHTER with lots of EXCUSES
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh yeah and by the way the sister up there making excuses has ALREADY told this mother that when she moves back to her own apartment that THIS sister isn't available for Christmas or Easter or holidays but she loves her so much and everything is so NORMAL you get the gist. PHONE IN DAUGHTER
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I go to a local support group, and it is a Godsend. Starts going when Mom moved in with us and wished I had started going years earlier. Still go even though Mom is now in assisted living. The strength and support I get is wonderful....just like the strength and support I get on here is wonderful. If there is one close to you that you can go to, GO.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Notice how that sister trying to make excuses for everything picked herself out in these posts. I never named names but she KNOWS who she is. TRUTH HURTS . NOTHING BUT A MISERABLE PHONE IN DAUGHTER FULL OF EXCUSES. and as you can tell Im done here because Im being stalked.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Keep it up crazy and I'll drop her right off your front porch tomorrow. Then you can have a dose of this non crazy mother you love so much. You haven't seen her in a year and let her stay with her crazy out of control daughter.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

WHATS SHES NOT SAYING IS MY MOM HAS BEEN IN HER JAMMIES 3 MONTHS OUT OF THE LAST 6. she knows nothing because shes one of the phone in daughters.... is it normal shes been in her jammies for 3 0ut of 6 monts. As you can tell this sister as just as crazy as the mom !!!!!!!! SHE KNOWS NOTHING .
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1golflady. I love you, I always will but as of now I don't think I would even want to see you again either, unless you stop accusing everyone of not lifting a finger.....there wasn't much anyone could do once mom was in TX and you know it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions