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Do you get much from them? Thanks much. I didn't look very thoroughly on the forum but have not seen much discussion. I will be checking one out today, could not go before this time due to work schedule but now have free time and the daycare will be free here for the time of the meeting.

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Yes thank you jeannegibbs, a good moderator is really important for the in-person groups! Well, here online too! I do continue to look at the caregivers listings, mostly there are church groups but too far away to drive, or not at good time for me. Today I spent 5.5 hours taking mom to doctor, then a noontime concert, a sandwich and then grocery shopping. Was so glad the paid caregiver could stay with dad during that whole time and we didn't have to hurry back.
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samara, online groups can serve a real need, and they are always meeting when you are available! :)

In my experience with an in-person group, we did not attract particularly needy folks, or rather we were/are all needy, with different level of need at any given meeting. I have never felt like getting up and leaving. (And our moderator would not let one member dominate a meeting.)
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In my area there aren't very many groups, some that I do see meet at times that just don't work for me. Instead of getting in the car and driving I prefer to come here at time that work for me. Also, I have some recollections of "support groups" being somewhat prone to attracting extremely needy individuals--beyond the ability of a mere support group to serve their needs. So it feels better to come here or some other online groups, I don't feel so obligated to spend too much time listening to someone else's really bad situation, unless I have time and inclination to do so, whereas, at an in-person group, it would be rude to get up and leave.
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I live in Tustin Ca and I am attending a support group this afternoon. I have been putting it off for awhile. Not quite sure what to expect will let you know how it goes
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Hey, just now seeing this, was wondering where my question disappeared to, ha-ha. Thanks for your answers. I did go to the meeting I mentioned, where maybe 10 people attended, several newbies like me. This group meets every other Wednesday afternoon. Most of the time was spent with the guy in charge going around the circle and allowing all of us to "share stories." Two were at the end of their rope, so they were given all the time in the world to vent and were given some practical ideas to help. Another lady was extremely tearful but not actually caring for her mother herself, just having a bad time letting go. I realize this is really the primary reason for the meetings and a good opportunity meet others in your own town in the same situation. Can't decide whether to just keep going but right now am not so much to the utterly frustrated point with mom. I didn't have a lot to contribute but acknowledged I knew exactly what some of the others had to say and felt I'm in control of things right now with mom more so than I figured. The best part is that care for mom is provided on site for free, actually the main reason I decided to attend, but she didn't do so well, no surprise, had probably spent the majority of the time refusing to take her coat off and telling the caregivers I'm dead (even though I prepped her and told her I needed the "class" to keep my STNA, not true, of course). Would like to see her change her attitude but thinking that's not gonna happen and I won't let that keep me from returning should I feel the need. The caretakers laughed and said I could bring her back anytime. I'm very grateful for that aspect. There are maybe two other groups in my town but I'd expect about the same. For me, it can be 1-1/2 hours away from mom, which is actually good for that fact alone. Will be glad when winter is over and we can be outdoors while she is still able to walk around.
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Zookeeper I resent the "putting their parents away" remark. Some people can't or are not cut out to be fulltime caregivers to their parents. It doesn't mean we love them any less. Maybe you didn't mean it that way but thats how it came across. Instead why not say transitioning your loved ones to somewhere where they can be safe and get the proper care. Not putting them away.
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I would love to know what you thought...altho one time may not give you a clear idea. I am looking into one myself and found one but havent yet gone. Im not sure what im looking for...maybe just time with folks who are going thru the same thing and understand.
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My husband had Lewy Body dementia. I attended a few meetings of an Alzheimer's support group and felt a little lost. LBD is quite different than ALZ and I was too new at caregiving to sort that out for myself. Later I discovered a newly forming group for caregivers of persons with LBD. That was extremely helpful. Occasionally someone who works in a care center would come but mostly it was hands-on relative caregivers. One man came whose loved one was in another state. All of the children were attending support groups where ever they lived, to learn more to be able to support the kids who were directly caring for Dad.

Almost everyone was doing hands-on care in their homes when they joined, and eventually had to place their loved ones.

I can't say enough good things about the group I attended in person. I'm sure that each is different and not every one is a good fit for every caregiver.

This forum is also an excellent place for support.
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There are a few good ones in the Los Angeles area. As people have mentioned, it's often difficult for hands-on caregivers to attend. A lot of the people that attend the meetings are actually more like the "POA but not personally providing any care" types, so there's a lot of discussion about financial issues, some of the emotional issues, but very little input from others if you actually start taking about issues you're having in the home caring for your parent. It's helpful, I think, for those that have placed parents in care facilities -- lots of time dedicated to making those folks feel OK about "putting their parents away". So if that's your caregiving nitch, these meetings are the place for you. If you actually provide care yourself and need support with the issues swirling around that, this is a better place for you. I have found more support, camaraderie and advice here than anywhere else.
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cindyoh, I've trying to find an elder care support group in my area that is nearby and came up zero, as 126Cher had mentioned above, caregivers just don't have the time. For me, I just don't have the energy :(
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In the book "The Bitter Sweet Season" Jane Gross the author is writing about taking care of her elderly Mother. She claims that support groups are not well attended because the caregivers just don't have the time. It you can pick up the book today or so it is a good and informative read. Let us know how you make out with the support group you are checking out.
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