I found out from my mom's doctor, he noticed signs of dementia years ago and referred her to a specialist but she never said anything to anyone and never went to see the specialist. I was working 50 miles from here so my mom's neighbor took her to the doctor and he would just drop her off at the door and pick her up later, he never went in the clinic with her. He did make sure she got inside okay, but he had no idea what the doctor said.
Her house was built in 1900 and I think it still has the original front door. The door locks with a skeleton key on both sides. My parents always locked the door from the inside and left the key in the door so it couldn't be unlocked from the outside. My mom took the key out of the door, but she doesn't remember taking the key out of the door and doesn't know what she did with it, so now I can't unlock the door until I can get another key.
She was complaining today that her refrigerator was too big and she wants her smaller refrigerator back. She said she didn't know where that refrigerator came from, she just came home one day and it was there. She got the refrigerator back in 2008, she picked it out, it was the one she wanted at the time.
She keeps thinking people are coming in her house messing in her things, taking things and other stuff is suddenly appearing and she doesn't know where it came from. I was filling out some papers for her, she picked them up and put them away someplace and now nobody can find them. She gets confused by what day it is, what appointments she has and who's coming on what day. She wakes me up at 2am because she thinks she's late for an appointment. She knows when her birthday is, what year she was born, my grandma's maiden name but there are days she can't remember my name.
I find myself having to make decisions that shouldn't be mine to make, my cousin said she needs a new front door but she said she doesn't want a new front door, she wants it left just how it is. It's her house, so I don't think that should be up to me. I had to step in and get her a new furnace because we were expecting 20 below weather and her furnace was out. She said no, but she got a new furnace anyhow.
I would agree, she needs to be in a nursing home, but she wants no part of that idea. Somebody mentioned the words "Nursing Home" and my mom went ballistic. She demands she be allowed to remain in her home until she dies and I've been told to shut up more than once. I can imagine she will be extremely verbally and physically abusive if she was placed in a facility. We tried to talk to her about going to Assisted Living temporarily for a couple of weeks while I was gone but she said she won't eat and will keep trying to walk away until I take her back home.
I was wondering if the neurologist might be able to help or if it was just too late. Her doctor has never talked to me about this before, but I think my mom has been getting worse. The other day she asked her caregiver why she didn't just stay home and do her job from home.. What? Oh, but now she needs somebody to come and give her a bath tomorrow so she can get her hair done Wednesday and there is only one person she will let give her a bath. Five minutes later she is asking if today is Thursday.