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My mother is 97. she is living in an assisted living community. My problem is she in unwilling to be assisted. She has to contend with Macular Degeneration. she has a very hard time separating her medications. She just won't accept help. Mainly because of the cost. I live 400 miles away. What should I do.

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This isn't unusual. She is in denial and doesn't want help, but obviously she needs some. Does she have a pastor, Rabbi, or a good friend who can talk with her to convince her that she's in assisted living so she doesn't have to go through this alone. The whole point is that she needs to let them help – she’s already paying for it. She needs to get her money’s worth.

Often an elder won't accept help from their adult children, because they feel bossed around, but they will listen to a third part. Is there someone she trusts - even a good friend - who can smooth things out?

Carol
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