Follow
Share

So my Mother has Alzheimers. She is in the middle stages. She can still perform all activities of daily life. We recently (November 2017) put her into a very nice Assisted Living facility. Unfortunately, we are beginning to realize that this might not be a good fit. It seems the further along the Alzheimers progresses the more my Mom becomes a hypochondriac. She constantly thinks she is sick. She gets herself so worked up into a panic that she actually makes herself vomit. I thought that the Assisted living facility would help care for her... but they have kindly made it clear to us that they are not a nursing home. That they will keep her safe by checking on her every 2 hours... giving medication to her....assistance with showering, which she doesn't need. But they don't have the staff to handle her constant "health needs".


She has been though so much these past 3 months. I DREAD the thought of having to move her again. She is cognizant enough to HATE a nursing home. I just wish we could get her hypochondria under control.


Any advice would be extremely helpful. FYI- She is taking Zoloft but it doesn't seem to be helping.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Can you have her seen by geriatric psychiatrist? Meds may help with her chronic anxiety and agitation.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

I agree she doesn't need skilled nursing care, is there memory care available locally? And keep working with her doctor to try to find a cure for her anxiety, maybe a geriatric psychiatrist would be beneficial.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

All kinds of obsessions can go along with dementia, hypochondria is one, but some obsess over paranoid thoughts about their caregivers and loved ones, or certain foods, or (god help us) their bowels. Go along to get along is usually the best practice, along with redirection - gee mom, I'm sorry you feel so bad, lets go have lunch in the dining room to see if a hot meal helps you feel better.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

cwillie-- don't even get started on her bowels! LOL! I know way too much about my Mom's bowels... argh!
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

The elderly love to talk about their bowels 😒
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

I’m sorry, because I know this is a serious post, but it’s amusing me that so many caregivers are chiming in on the bowel issue. OMG, if my mother tells me again, in great detail, how she evacuates her bowels I think I’ll scream!!!! (I know she will, it’s one of her favorite topics!)
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Have you considered hiring a private companion / caregiver for her part time to help with distracting her from the things that bother her. From your description, she is still good with her ADL's. Sometimes, in an ALF, it can get lonely, or they tend to isolate themselves. But having someone be there as a companion might get her mind off things, do things together, etc.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I expect it's a stupid question but you have ruled out possible physical causes of her vomiting, have you? It's just it strikes me that for a person who's already on anti-anxiety medication that must be quite some panic attack she's having if she does in fact vomit.

After all, you don't want her epitaph to be "I told you I was ill!"
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My dad was able to stay in assisted living because he had a daily sitter 7am-7pm every day. The cost was roughly equal to what a nursing home would cost, but he was more engaged with activities, meals etc. because he had a helper to encourage him. It certainly made things easier for me as well.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Lolo1169, I have my dad in an ALF that is a small in home (8 people max) that is an age in place, right through hospice. I signed him up for in home health care, doctors, labs, xrays, etc come right to him as needed, he is on Medicare with a supplemental policy so it costs him nothing extra. Maybe you have places where your mom is that do it all until the end, worth checking out. I also chose a place that was owned by younger couple because my dad thinks he's 18, always has. So he gets to hang out and live with his "peers". LOL

When I was looking for a place for him, many people told me he needs memory care because of the dementia, well, I looked into them and was aghast, every single person is strapped in a wheelchair, fall liability you know, they looked like the wheeled dead.
I know some people are so far gone as to need being behind locked doors and not allowed to ever walk on their own. My granny was gone like that, yet they did not lock her up and isolate her, she wheeled throughout the facility, and this was before all the alarms to notify staff someone has gone awol. The staff ratio in these places is higher as they will not let the seniors do anything for themselves, even if they can take care of bathing, dressing etc, they won't let them.  If your mom is having a hard time adjusting to AL, this kind of place could potentially push her over a cliff.

Sounds like the place she is in forgot what business they are in, yikes, it's called Assisted living for a reason, they charge enough to have a doctor on staff for petes sake, maybe you can find a home that understands they are not just warehousing human bodies, these are actual human beings. I pray you find a place that will help your mom feel safe and loved so she can spend her final days without being so terrified that she vomits.

God Bless You and help you find that place. I pray that you take care of you during this difficult journey. 🤗
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.