My parents have been declining for that past 5 years. In 2018 they have been in and out of the hospital and my mom died in June. With the 2 of them being so weak I moved them into assisted living end of March because the cost of 2 of them at home with round the clock care was too expensive and seemed impossible to even find anyone. Now my Dad wants to move back home with a care giver. He has always been obsessed with living at home. It's a bit of a mess because I would have to move him back to his house and set up caregiving and figure out everything he needs. Sigh. Is this even realistic?

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You don't say how old Dad is. Has the stroke effected how he thinks? Do you have POA.

All of us want to be in our homes. But at a point it is no longer possible. For Dad it's no longer what he wants, its what he needs. Setting up 24/7 care will be very hard. At $10 an hour its $240 a day costing over 6k a month. Then you have utilities and upkeep on the house, food. Then its working with the caregivers you hire. They may not like him, or him them. Then its having them show up on schedule.

Tell Dad for now the AL is the best alternative. He needs more care than you can provide and getting reliable caregivers will be very hard since he needs 24/7 care. That you don't have the time to supervise six different people. (3 for weekdays and 3 for weekends) It would be an overwhelming job for anyone. Then if one doesn't work out or quits you have to hire another. Then its if you want to be on the up and up and take out SS, match it, and send to SS every quarter. Now ur payroll. Then insurance if something should happen to a caregiver. It really isn't feasible. He is safe, clean, fed and cared for. He has some socialization. You can enjoy him. That won't be the case if you take on trying to keep him at home.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29

Assisted living is better for more care and relaxed life.
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Reply to MichaelHarris

Just because he wants something doesn’t mean you have to be the one to make it happen. If he is truly capable of living at home then he needs to make the arrangements.
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Reply to lkdrymom

How about "I understand you'd like to live at home dad...but I think it's a terrible idea, because in emergencies, I'm going to have to come running".

Or " great , dad. Here is the number of a moving company and here's one for the caregiving agency".

Does Dad need AL? Or would Independent Living be enough care for him?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

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