My parent needs more help, living independently(renting in a HUD based apt) and now was asked to leave. She will have to self pay I understand to live in assisted living facility. What would happen if she runs out of funds? What if she isn't NH ready ( physically or mentally), is it I that makes that decision or medical?
My fear is...she could go to assisted living for maybe 2 years, run out of money and then what? She is suffering with dementia and is 75% independent with my assistance. I set up meds, prepare meals,laundry and am primary care giver. Would I be better off just having her live with me until it gets worse and I no longer can care for can I possibly know how her disease would progress? I can't help but think I should care for her now and when things get tougher and needs more help I should take her to assisted living.Maybe her money will last longer that way and I would buy more time to save her money! The whole medicaid thing is mind boggling and I don't want to use it unless she has to. Any help is appreciated. I am POA and the only one who will be making these decisions.

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Thanks everyone for your input!
We did find several Assisted living homes that would accept Medicaid when the time came. It is crazy that she qualified for HUD housing but since her money is considered a pension they didn't add that to the gross amount of income. They did subtract all of her medicine and medical ins.she pays monthly from her income also. I never thought she would qualify for HUD but it is definitely worth taking a chance on. I know there are alot of people out there that think they make to much money to qualify. I never thought she made to much but she isn't wealthy either.
The assisted living will work just like medicaid though, she will spend down and apply for assistance then. No change of location or room because of medicaid which I think is very important. The assisted living facility nurse has just told me that I need to find a memory care/Alzheimer home for mom....If you are looking for A/l arrangements for your loved ones do your best to find one that has a memory care/Alzheimer unit available within, I am so exhausted trying to call and get information....
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Thank you parents are low income and wouldn't be able to afford assisted it's good to know there might be something available for them.
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I thought that Medicaid only paid for NH, too. But I was wrong. There is a Medicaid program that pays for various supplies and services for a recipient living in his or her own home, including subsidized housing and apparently assisted living facilities. My sisters found a very nice suitable assisted living place for our mom, where she had once stayed in the transitional care unit for rehab. My daughter works at a great assisted living facility and she says that they ask for private pay at the beginning but when funds run out they accept Medicaid for the services and the social security check or pension, etc for the "rent" portion of the bill.
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I hope everything goes well. It must be hard. My parents are still managing on their own,but my mom could not live alone if something happens to my dad. Does Medicaid pay for Assisted Living? I thought it only paid for NH as Medicare does. If your father was a veteran, you might check into VA assistance for either assisted or NH. Yes, like jeanne stated, if your mother is living in subsidized housing, she is already considered low-income.
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When your mother runs out of money she will apply for Medicaid. If you help her find Assisted Living now, find one that will accept Medicaid when she runs out of funds.

Making the decision about having her live with you based on finances is probably not wise. Try to figure out what will be best for you and for her, and then figure out how to make the finances fit.

(If she lives in subsidized housing now, I am surprised she has enough assets to self-pay for AL for two years.)
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I completely understand where you are coming from. I was faced with the same dilemma. I'll tell you the good & the bad. Here are somethings you will have to consider if you parents moves in with you..
1. Will you have anyone to help you care for mom & dad? If so how much help.
If no that was my case ( My siblings couldn't be bothered. They told me they had a life) Are you prepared to care for your parents 100%. Believe me it's not easy.
2.If you are married/ living with someone you need to talk to them to see how they feel about this.
3. Are your parents needy?? My mom is. If mom can't see me she's calling my name all the time. The only time alone I had was when I was sleeping, taking a shower or in the bathroom.
4. How is your health??? In my case I was stressed but I was in fairly good health.
I didn't get along with my siblings and every time I had to talk with my sister she would cause me and my mom to have CHEST Pains. I actually had a TIA (Mini Stroke) and didn't know it for some time.
My mom lived with me twice. 1st time was right after my dad past away and that was for 6 months.My sister took my mom only when I pleaded with her and in 6 months my sister had mom only 8 days the entire time. I had to go out of town and I asked my siblings if they could watch mom and both said NO but my sister said she found an Independent Living where mom could check the place out while I was gone. That's what we did and when I got back my siblings had already decided that mom was going to live there. So mom moved in & she lived there 1 year. During that year mom & I talked multi times a day and she was with me probably 40% of the time. She did like playing games & going shopping. But after dinner Mom was lonely and she wanted to be with me. So I talked with my husband and we decided to have mom move back in with us. I did email both of my siblings telling them that the next month mom was moving back in. The 2nd go around I cared for mom 100%. I had no help from anyone. During that time I feel is when I had the TIA. The Dr's really didn't know when I had it. My husband and children would say to me "you are killing yourself" I finally realized I was when I had CHEST PAINS for 4 solid days and I still went shopping with mom & did what mom wanted. I texted my sister and the next day we met and I gave mom to her. During that time my sister changed the POA back to her, changed bank accounts, etc.. Then she only kept mom for 3 weeks and my sister put mom in an Assistant Living/ ALZ. While my mom was checking it out I went to see mom & talked with the Director and she went over the cost & what they did. I told the lady that we couldn't afford it and I told my sister that. She didn't listen. A matter of fact my sister put my mom 2 hrs away from where I live. I have developed health issues now & I'm not able to see mom as much as I would like. Mom has gotten really worse since my sister moved mom.
5. Do you have room for them?
6. Will you be able to take them to the Dr, shopping etc ?
7. Are you prepared mentally & financially??

I can tell you that I am so glad that I was able to do that for my mom and wouldn't trade it for the world. I know I did what needed to be done & I enjoyed every minunite of it. My feeling is mom & dad took care of us and now when they need help it was my time to take care of mom. I only wish that my sister didn't put mom in the opposite direction & 2 hrs away from me. Time will tell and I hope to GOD that we have enough money to care for mom.
I hope this helps.
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