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My husband got so aggitated after moving him into a assisting living place one day and had to be taken to the VA and they gave him some rx. They took my husband off all the drugs and he is talking and knows all of us, but they wont take him in the assisting living homes now becan.

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Over the holidays I had lunch with a college roommate, and learned their situation, their parent has been evicted from 3 AL centers for behavior issues. I was amazed, but then again, if the resident is not able to comply with the behavior guidelines of the AL center, they have every right to evict (same as for apartment residents). But many of the VA homes are full.....so unless there is a memory care center with openings, you probably won't find another AL center who will take your parent. The AL centers have to set some standards and the residents have to meet the standards. That might sound harsh, but those standards are there for a reason. Persons who are not able to behave appropriately do not belong in regular Assisted Living and will be asked to leave.
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This is not fair on the part of assisted living home, not to take your husband back. In Texas, the staff at Luvida Memory Care is very supportive and cooperative; and they deal with the patients very caringly; however stubborn the patient is.
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If the agitation you're speaking of involved physical aggression towards staff, he has likely been identified as someone who is not suitable for AL. You'll probably have to find somewhere with staff trained to handle that, like a dementia unit.
If not, then my next question is: Is it you who is calling around to find a placement or is it the VA's social worker? Because he or she would feel bound to report (and give an opinion on) his behavior at the previous AL. If you are calling, you can expand on your knowledge of your husband's behavior and his current status with meds bringing his issues under control. In other words, the social worker has limited knowledge of you husband could be scaring them off. You would have a chance to give the big picture on the situation.
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Its not uncommon for someone who just moved to an ALF to get overwhelmed and act out. That is no reason not to take him back. Most ALFs will even take someone with mild dementia, and I know this for a fact. Unless they are wreaking havoc among the residents, they will be allowed to stay. It does not sound like your husband has those kinds of problems. Go in and meet with the director of the ALF and explain the circumstances of your husband having a problem when admitted but is better now and they should agree to give him another chance. A note from his doctor stating that he is okay to stay in an ALF is good too. My sister is in an ALF where they have some residents with memory issues and as long as the staff is taking care of them, there seems to be no problem with them stay. Good luck.
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Some ALFs do not accept residents with dementia. Many have separate "memory care" units to provide the kinds of services such residents might need. Have you asked the care center directly about their reasons for refusing your husband's return? Do they have another option for him? Does the VA have a suitable care center?

I am glad that your husband is on a different set of medicines now, and I certainly hope that helps calm him. I wish you quick success in locating an appropriate placement for your husband. I'm sure the decision to place him at all was stressful for you, and this must be breaking your heart. Stay strong!
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Are you saying your husband has essentially 'burned his bridges' with ANY asst. living place or just the one that he kicked up a fuss in?
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