I am helping my friend with her healthcare (Medical POA) and have a dilemma. She was recently hospitalized after collapsing and I found an assisted living facility for her and got her transferred there upon hospital discharge as she was still recuperating. My problem is this; she is doing well at the facility - eating all of her meals, taking her meds and allowing people to help her bathe - at home alone in her apartment she stopped eating well, said she lost her appetite, didn’t take her meds properly, wouldn’t let people assist fully with bathing, etc. - it was her lack of proper nutrition and her not taking her iron that contributed to her collapse; she was so weakened that she got double pneumonia and needed a transfusion because of the lack of iron.
Now that she’s feeling better she wants to go back to her apartment where she lives alone (with part time assistance from myself and two other people). I am so afraid that she will backslide again if she leaves the facility and will eventually collapse again. This her second collapse in two years. The first time (before I became involved) she only weighed 66 pounds when she collapsed that time. She has osteoporosis as well and can’t afford another fall. I know that she would like to maintain her independence as long as possible but she is very frail.
Is it wrong of me to push her toward staying in assisted living when she wants to return home? She can afford self pay for a while and then we can apply for long term care Medicaid but she wants to save that money to leave to family members. I say take care of yourself with that money but she is stubborn!
I have checked into home care agencies as well and having someone come in for 8 hours, 7 days a week; to fix homemade meals, give meds, light housework, bathing, etc., will cost $5,000.00 a month. That is currently what she is paying for AL, and that facility has someone there 24/7, not just 8 hours a day. I don’t even know if she would spend the money on home healthcare.