My mom was in an assisted living since Dec. There were a couple residents who wandered into other's rooms. I witnessed this many times. It was disruptive to residents and agitating to my mom. It caused altercations with my mom and a male resident who wandered. It's a small facility with only 45 residents. The owner blamed my mother for reacting poorly and the aides would constantly write up incident reports that were faxed to the NYS Dept of Health. About a month ago I received 2 reports about another male resident who grabbed my mom and made out with her and had his arms around her and was touching her breast. For some reason owner told me these were not reportable incidents and he wasn't defending my mom because she didn't resist. My mom is 83 with dementia and 5'2" with arthritic hands. Their solution was to tell my mom and this much younger, large male resident to do this is in private and not in front of other residents. I told them I don't want my mom doing anything in private with this resident and to keep them apart! Needless to say I flipped out and moved her within a week. She is in a different facility now but her room is very small and it is shared with a resident who has been there for a while. The rooms are not the same size, some rooms are almost triple size of my mom's room and price is the same. There are 2 chairs in my mom's room, one a big comfy chair and the other a regular wooden, hard, table chair. The roommate comes back to the room around 6:30 after dinner and since she can't walk well, she gets the chair and the tv remote and watches what she wants. I was watching a movie with my mom at that time yesterday and aide brought resident in and resident told us to put on channel 7 and we left the room because of it. I've asked several times for a chair for my mom and haven't seen it happen yet. I'm getting very stressed and frustrated over it. I can't afford a room for my mom alone and don't think this situation is fair. Also, the roommates son visits her every night and he doesn't get there until 8-8:30pm, which I find really unnacceptable. Before my mom moved in they told me her roommates son visits so she isn't in the room until later at night, which is basically a lie. So my mom has to wait to go to sleep until her son leaves. Maybe this sounds irrational on my part, I'm dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety due to caretaking my mom, moving her, selling her home, etc. My mom also took all the clothes out of the dresser and put them in a plastic bag in her closet that she has tied up in knots. She is wearing the same socks and underwear and I never see any laundry in her laundry basket because she hangs her dirty clothes back up in the closet and no one is noticing. I've spoken to the manager 3 times about this and I don't know what else to do at this point because I know I'm going to sound like a crazy person if I have to ask her again to have someone make sure she changes clothes/underwear. My mom won't let me put her clothes in the dresser because she thinks people will steal her things. I don't know how to just let this go.