I am hoping for some guidance on whether my aunt needs to be in a Memory Care facility or whether Assisted Living would be enough. I am the only caregiver to my 94 year old aunt. Physically, she is in excellent shape for her age (she takes zero prescriptions!), although she is increasingly frail. She is also extremely hard of hearing to the point where her (very high end) hearing aids don't help too much, despite getting regular adjustments, so all her doctor's offices have my phone number to confirm appointments, etc. Her mental cognition has been noticeably slipping for almost 2 years now (my mother, her sister, even noticed it, before she passed over a year ago at age 95). She lives alone in a 55+ community about 3 miles from my house. She has neighbors that seem to look out for one another. I check on her every day, and I make all her doctors' appointments, take her to the doctors, for haircuts, grocery shopping, etc. At this point, I also take care of all her paperwork, since she has become increasingly confused by it. I have prepared her income tax returns for decades, since I was a former tax professional. She's always been impatient with paperwork, but lately she can't seem to handle even the most basic forms. So I pay all her bills (she signs the checks), do all her filing, fill out doctor's office questionnaires, etc. She doesn't really cook anymore, but buys things like soup, fruit, yogurt, whole grain waffles, etc. (she's always been a healthy eater, although she has a huge sweet tooth). I also package take-out containers with food that I've cooked. She doesn't eat large quantities anymore (she's 4'9" and 100lb), but food like soup or chicken seems to last her for much longer than it should, while baked good disappear almost immediately. So far, the worst that has happened is that she's left rotten food in the kitchen trash so long that it was infested with flies. But I'm worried that as her condition slips, she could come to harm. She got a medical alert, but stopped using it, because she was always setting it off by accident, no matter where she placed/wore it, and she got terribly confused at having to tell the alert company that it was a false alarm. My husband is a cardiac patient, and I have a herniated disc in my back, so living with us is not really an option. Plus, it seems as though she would be happier with people her own age and some activities. A couple of months ago, her doctor did a short "memory test", which she basically passed with flying colors (she knew what day it was, who is President, etc.). However, since we deal with her on the most regular basis, my husband and I are very aware of how her cognition is slipping more and more. For example, her conversation is on an increasingly short loop, where in the course of an hour, she will repeat the same statement at least 10 times. She has said that living in her current house is too much for her (she has a cleaning lady, lawn care, etc.) and that she would consider moving to a smaller apartment with other people her own age. But she is worried about the process, even though I assured her that I (and my husband) will handle all the logistics.
Would she be a candidate for Assisted Living or does she need Memory Care? I don't want to subject her to the stress of moving, only to have to move her again in a few months. But I would hate to put her in with people who are too "out of it" to make friends, etc., since she is very outgoing and friendly. Any guidance is greatly appreciated.