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My mom has been in a ALF for awhile now ,I thought she would be ok after a while but she still is so very unhappy there. Every time I go to visit her she begs me to get her out. I didn't have a place that was safe for her but I do now with a little bit of work to make it safe for her to be there the conditions there are really bad as far as I'M concerned! They don't assist her in anything the only time they come in her room is to ask her if she is coming to Breakfast lunch or dinner? she has lost a lot of weight. they let her lock herself in her room for hrs. 3 times now when I go to visit there is (shit) everywhere because of her diarrhea, WHICH THEY REFUSE TO GVE HER THE MEDICINE THAT WORKS FOR HER. THEY NEVER WASH HER CLOTHER OR EVEN MAKE SURE SHE CHANGES THEM. SOME TIMES SHE HAS THE SAME DIRTY CLOTHES ON FOR WEEKS .I HAVE TO GO LT SOMEONE KNOW TO CLEAN THE TOILET AND EVEN THEN IT TAKES THEM HRS. THEY DON'T PROVIDE ANY KIND OF MEDICAL TREATMENT LET ALONE PROVIDE ANY ASSISTANTS.I'M SURE THAT I COULD TAKE CARE OF HER ALOT BETTER AND SHE WOULD BE SO MUCH HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER. SH TRIES TO WASH HER OWN UNDERWARE OUTIN THE BATHROOM SINK. THEY NEVER PROVIDE TOWELS WASHCLOTHES HANDTOWELS SOAP AND BARLY TOILET PAPER. EVERYONE THERE IS STARVING I HEAR THEM ALWAYS ASK FOR SECONDS AND THERE IS ALWAYS SOME EXCUSE WHY THEY CAN'T HAVE MORE. I FEED MY 6 YR OLD GRANDAUGHTER MORE THEN THEY GET.THEY HAVE NEVER LET MY MOM SEE HER BILL OF WHAT IT COST AND CHARGES THEY APPLY FOR WHAT EVER. AND HAVE NEVER LET HER KNOW THE INFORMATION. THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT? ITS GOT TO BE A MONEY THING HER SOCIAL SECURITY GO STRAIGHT TO A PAYEE WHICH THEY SAY IT HAS TO BECAUSE SHE IS IN A FACILITY THEY DON'T GIVE HER ANY MONEY OUT OF HER CK AT ALL.IT BREAKS MY HEAT AND I DON'T WANT MY MOM TO BE THERE ANYMORE CAN THEY STOP ME FROM TAKING HER OUT OF THERE? THEY DID ONCE WERE THEY BLUFFING? I DON'T UNDERSTAND? NEITHER DOES MY MOM?

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Wow, I'm in exactly the same situation! I just put mom in an ALF last week, and even after 5 days, the toilet was still not completely flushing, with feces floating everywhere, same thing about soap, no paper towels, etc., but yesterday was the killer. I walked into her room (it was at a different time than I had been showing up every day before that) and I couldn't believe my eyes! Right there in the middle of the floor was a small, half full, jar of peanut butter (that I had brought her) laying, completely broken, with pieces of broken glass all around it! WTF! There's no way that didn't make a huge sound to have hit hard enough to break the jar. And how could it have happened? It was so bizarre! It was right in the middle of the room, about 7 feet from mom's bed. I was so stunned by the whole thing and I didn't really confront the staff about it, but I cleaned it up myself, probably because I was thinking mom probably did it. But so what! I'm kicking myself now for not taking a picture of it with my phone ~ in fact that's something you should always keep in mind ~ that you can document something with the phone! Anyway, it wasn't until I got home later and realized the severity of the situation ~ I just can't leave my mom in a place where incidents like that happen! But I can't have her here because of my subsidized (one person only) housing. Mom's income can't afford a more expensive facility, so if feels like being between a rock and three hard places. It seems a lot of these facilities are "cashing in" on the current "problem" of too many elderly parents around....I don't know what I'm gonna do. But I AM going to report them tomorrow morning! Good luck to you!
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If this facility is as bad as you say, you should get your mom out of there immediately and report the facility to adult protective services in your area. Have you taken any pictures of the unsanitary conditions? This place should not be allowed to take money and not provide care.
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Also, why would they stop you from taking her out? Just tell them without hurting the facility's feelings that you found a place that is closer to you and she will be transferring. If they ask what place, tell them, to respect the confidentiality of the "facility" you are not allowed to say (*wink*).
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Get her out of there! Obviously, this facility is very bad for her well being and it raises alot of concerns. Can you just have her move in with you? During the day, take her to adult daycare (medicaid pays so check with her medicaid program) so she can be watched and so you can work and/or get respite. My grandpa's medicaid pays for his adult daycare and it also covers his breakfast, lunch, and snacks.
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