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She has been going in the rooms of other residents, when their doors are open, and taking things. Then when those things are being taken back by a caregiver, she gets upset, saying it's a family heirloom etc. The center says the rest of the residents are afraid to leave their doors open now. They think she would be better served in memory care now. My misgivings are that she is happy where she's at, familiar and has her own restroom which she uses independently. The new room will have a restroom a door down across the hall. . My aunt doesn't use a walker or wheelchair, but is in beginning middle stages Alzheimers. What can I do to make her OK with the change???

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I would think the staff would recognize when someone is at the point of a change in their care. of course not all homes are equipped with a memory care unit, but those that do should have a little more experience in that field. we are all human and can only do so much (that goes for family and staff). there are some patients that require more work than others. But try to make the change as comfortable as you can for your family member. visit them more often the first couple weeks of the change and slowly go back to your normal routine. We have to remember, none of us like change as we get older because it's not "comfortable".......(ever go in a store and find they have moved stuff around - tactics to make us look around more but in a way, it also triggers our mind to think more too). I wish you luck.
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Alot of great suggestions given. Dont have much to add just want to wish you the best, I know how hard it is to change situations, but just be there for her and hope for the best.
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We moved my mom from the assisted living section to the memory care in same facility. She was causing issues, having outbursts, loving and hiding things and blaming staff, and starting with hallucinations: We changed her medications and moved her one day to the memory care. I had all her high school, college, and photos from her younger years with her grand kids in it to help her deal with being in a new room and surroundings. I believe one thing that helps is communication with the staff and most directly the memory care director and the lead med tech. Of course they will see you when you visit but sometimes they will need to help your relative adjust after the first day and get acquainted. Memory care is very schedule oriented and yet to this day my mom tells me she is bored and she does nothing all day long. However, they take pictures for the newsletter and she is quite active, she goes on every outing 3 times a week, every art class two times a day, bingo, etc. My mom's dementia is far along however yet lucid enough to still tell me how bored she is sometimes and how she is going to move back to one of her homes. She has "three" and gives me addresses of home from houses she owned over 50 years ago.
Needless to say, your aunt should be fine. If you need to tell her a white lie as to why the move, such as a pipe broke in her current room and this is the room they had available or they had some remodeling to do and the noise would be too loud, etc. then so be it. Just as long the facility is on board and they can come up and go along with the story. It will be easier for you, your aunt, and the translation all together.
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Be careful about moving your aunt too many times. Each move will be traumatic for her and she will slip deeper into her Alzheimer's with each change. Research and choose the best place for her before you move her so that she only has to move once. Be sure that continuing care is available through to the end at the place you choose. She still might have to change rooms so check out ALL future possibilities before you decide. Then make the best decision you can, based on your research. Don't forget to talk to people in the caregiving industry about places near your aunt. You may still have to move her later, but at least you can know that you tried your best not to have to. Good luck!
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Frances2, so sorry. Maybe your Mom can be given something temporarily to calm her down. The ALs I know that have an Dementia/Alzhemiers unit may "suggest" but that is a nice wayof saying "they must" go to the other unit. ALs are equipped for people who can do for themselves to a point. Beyond that point they need a different kind of care.
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I guess I have been looking only at the better ones in the twin cities area of Minnesota.
I admit my Mom is fortunate enough to have assets for that.
With the way old men miss the toilet, and old people in general mess up a bathroom I still don't understand how it can be done or designed that way. At least not at the room rates that memory care units are charging (baseline $5000 per month at the ones I saw). And the way my mom's bathroom gets nobody else should be in there with her anyway because her belongings are everywhere.
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Kathy1951, where do you live that memory care units have private bathrooms, cause we're all moving there! My mother is in the only dementia unit in our county that has all private rooms. Let alone a private bathroom. She shares the bathroom with the room next door. Thankfully that person wears diapers, so essentially, my mom has a private bath. You'll find that in dementia units, most people are in diapers, so the bathroom isn't much of an issue. ..
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I am surprised they are still making memory care units with shared bathrooms! That would red flag me right away for the place. Too many issues about privacy, about one's own accidents, about toilet time...about other people's accidents.....about diapers left in the bathroom. Just really yucky to me.
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I agree with the first two posts. With the exception of my parents first move from their house to independent living I set up her new living spaces - first apartments then finally a room with it's own bathroom - each move meant a smaller space but I took the most treasured items and lots of pictures and photos. As much as I could I arranged the rooms as similar as possible. I put up a wall of photos. I figured that at least if she woke up disoriented she would see her things and think "I must be where I'm suspose to be". Each move has been hell for everyone involved. I'm not sure if my strategy helped but it still makes sense - to me at least, lol! Not having her own bathroom would bother me for her. While mom is Depends dependent (no pun intended) I think all the issues of having to be changed by someone else would be made worse by not having your own private space. For someone who is boarder line incontinent and still somewhat self mobile not having your own bathroom would be a huge discouragement, I would think. Since you have to move, why not consider a new facility that would offer a private bathroom? But my biggest piece of advice would be to listen to the facility and make the move as soon as you can find a good place. My biggest mistakes have been in not listening to experienced professionals in this field - even if some of them can be asses. When mom was discharged from rehab they said she needed a NH but I wanted to try AL first. That lasted 10 days before she fell and then fell again 3 days later. We drug out looking for a NH mom would agree to - which never happened and she only dug in more not accepting we had to move - no choice. We moved her to a nice NH but it didn't specialize in memory care. Mom is making everyone miserable - family and staff - and a facility specializing in her particular challenged would be better equipt to deal with her. I am anticipating being asked to leave again - I'm just praying that won't happen for a few months and family can catch a breath before regrouping.
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Correction, 3 shifts.
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And in light of what another poster said, visit the unit first. If you go to the facilities medical office, schedules per unit are posted on the wall. You can count for yourself how many nurses and aides are assigned on each shift. They may quote a certain number for staff to patient ratio, but they are likely just quoting you their max. I'd ask what the ratio is for all 4 shifts.
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One piece of advice I'd give everyone moving their loved one to a memory care facility or dementia unit is check the meds. Sometimes nursing homes discontinue a resident's Aricept and Namenda without telling the family! Those meds slow decline in people with Alzheimer's. When they are taken away, a person can decline faster. I know there are differing opinions on the effectiveness of those meds, but if your loved on is on them, and you're happy with that, no stranger in a facility should just rip them away. Insist that all medication changes go through you.
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If you see that the AL facility is caring and pleasant, and the memory care also seems that way, I would make the change now before she gets worse. My father moved from one wing to another before he had more severe Alzheimer's and he was able to adjust nicely. We took him out for a few hours while my husband and children moved his furniture and set up the new apt. nicely so everything would look familiar. He was able to adjust nicely. The bathroom situation surprises me as even when most AD residents are incontinent, they still need to be changed in a bathroom.
Good Luck!
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They may allow a bedside portable toilet which would save your mom the long trip down the hall. It is so tough when they essentially punish them as the dementia gets worse. You and your mom are in my prayers.
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I haven't seen memory care units without a restroom within the apartment area. I have heard that if the restroom is insight of the resident, they will use it. "Out of sight, out of mind". As her memory continues to deteriorate this will be a bigger issue. Also, if you are considering moving her, I would consider all of your options. The fewer moves the better. Any move is a big adjustment, whether to another room or area, or a different facility.
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I would stay as positive about the change as possible. Point out good things that they will offer.

I tried to always tell my loved one that residents and staff really liked her and thought a lot of her. I told my loved one that a resident or staff member had confided in me that she was the most friendly and kind resident they had and such a pleasure to have as a resident. For her, it helped her feel welcome and more comfortable. I told her this, even when it wasn't true, even though she would forget.

I had to move my loved one from regular assisted living to Secure Memory Care at a different facility. It went very smoothly and I saw an immediate improvement. She seemed so much more comfortable there. For her, it was the right level of care.

If her existing place is recommending Memory Care, then I would consider the options and consider if she would do any better at another regular assisted living facility. I don't know of any Assisted Living facility that doesn't have missing items issues. Most just deal with it, but I suppose they have to respond based on the severity of the problem.

Eventually, she will not be able to utilize a private bathroom, though, my loved one's unit has private bathrooms in each room. I don't think there are any who use them unassisted though.

After a couple of weeks, my loved one had no memory of the previous Assisted Living facility.
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I went through this with my mom. Unfortunately I had to change facilities as well as units because the place where she started out was horrible. When I moved her into memory care at the new facility they took very good care of her. Unfortunately she dos decline quickly but I don't think it's the fault of the facility. Go with your gut.
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Just move her. Since her dementia will progress, she will forget she was ever in a room with an attached bathroom. Do not expect her to be "normal" ever again, and when she is displaying these types of behaviors, she needs to be in an area where she can be observed and monitored.
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We recently were told my mom needed to move from AL to Memory Care, (same bldg.). They said there'd be more staff at the MC wing and she needed extra care. We moved her and she has gone downhill DRAMATICALLY! I'm sorry they talked me into it. My Mom thinks she's Veen kidnapped and can't find a ride home. Everyday, MANY times a day, she calls my sister and me yelling at us because we won't take her "home". We've tried changing the subject to no avail. There's actually NOT more staff in this wing--we were lied to. She sits in her chair all day, does not want to go to "those silly activities" and most of the time she's yelling, "Help! Someone help me!" When we visit her, she cries when we have to leave. She asks us to spend the night with her because she's so scared. She needs a change in her medication, and to see her neurologist, there's at least a 3 week wait. And even then, I've heard there's a lot of tinkering with the meds to find the right kind/dosage. We are at a loss.
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I agree that being with your aunt for the change is important.

Try to have a positive attitude because any reservations that you have will be picked up by your aunt. If you look at this as a positive move - that she'll be safer in an environment that is set up for people with memory issues - your energy will help her.

Yes, change is hard for someone with AD. However, not to move her isn't likely an option since the residents have a point and the facility has accommodations for your aunt's present needs.

If she moves now, it will be easier than fighting the issues, waiting awhile, and then making a change later on. Sometimes we have to go with the flow. If you are reasonably happy with the facility, go into this with enthusiasm and support her throughout. She'll complain, but just be matter of fact, as Everishlass has suggested.

Update us when you can.
Carol
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My experiences probably won't be helpful here, but when I looked for memory care units for my friends with dementia issues, I finally found an AL place that offered studio, one bedroom and two bedroom apartments in their memory care units. It is one of the oldest AL facilities in the St. Paul area. It was the only place with memory care apartments large enough for two people to live in and be comfortable. I was able to make their apartment look very similar to their condo and the move in went very smoothly. Frankly, the new "models" for memory care seem more like short term warehousing and are not at all inviting. Perhaps there are options out there that would be worth looking into for a more satisfactory arrangement. If you have to move her anyway, why restrict the move to just the same facility?
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Just make sure to be there for her when they switch her rooms. If you can get into the new room ahead of time put up some family photos or whatever else your aunt has in her current room. Put familiar things in her new room. Be there when they take her to her new room.

Memory care wings can be very nice. They're usually decorated differently than the rest of the facility with different "stations" placed here and there that are designed to capture the interest of the people who live there. At one station there may be a puzzle, at another station there may be some photo albums. I visited a memory care facility once where there was a large and ornate coat rack that had numerous old hats for the ladies to try on and they loved it.

Be matter of fact with your aunt when she changes rooms. She may look to you as to how to feel about the change. Be positive and enthusiastic.
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