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She has been going in the rooms of other residents, when their doors are open, and taking things. Then when those things are being taken back by a caregiver, she gets upset, saying it's a family heirloom etc. The center says the rest of the residents are afraid to leave their doors open now. They think she would be better served in memory care now. My misgivings are that she is happy where she's at, familiar and has her own restroom which she uses independently. The new room will have a restroom a door down across the hall. . My aunt doesn't use a walker or wheelchair, but is in beginning middle stages Alzheimers. What can I do to make her OK with the change???

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I agree that being with your aunt for the change is important.

Try to have a positive attitude because any reservations that you have will be picked up by your aunt. If you look at this as a positive move - that she'll be safer in an environment that is set up for people with memory issues - your energy will help her.

Yes, change is hard for someone with AD. However, not to move her isn't likely an option since the residents have a point and the facility has accommodations for your aunt's present needs.

If she moves now, it will be easier than fighting the issues, waiting awhile, and then making a change later on. Sometimes we have to go with the flow. If you are reasonably happy with the facility, go into this with enthusiasm and support her throughout. She'll complain, but just be matter of fact, as Everishlass has suggested.

Update us when you can.
Carol
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Just make sure to be there for her when they switch her rooms. If you can get into the new room ahead of time put up some family photos or whatever else your aunt has in her current room. Put familiar things in her new room. Be there when they take her to her new room.

Memory care wings can be very nice. They're usually decorated differently than the rest of the facility with different "stations" placed here and there that are designed to capture the interest of the people who live there. At one station there may be a puzzle, at another station there may be some photo albums. I visited a memory care facility once where there was a large and ornate coat rack that had numerous old hats for the ladies to try on and they loved it.

Be matter of fact with your aunt when she changes rooms. She may look to you as to how to feel about the change. Be positive and enthusiastic.
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Just move her. Since her dementia will progress, she will forget she was ever in a room with an attached bathroom. Do not expect her to be "normal" ever again, and when she is displaying these types of behaviors, she needs to be in an area where she can be observed and monitored.
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If you see that the AL facility is caring and pleasant, and the memory care also seems that way, I would make the change now before she gets worse. My father moved from one wing to another before he had more severe Alzheimer's and he was able to adjust nicely. We took him out for a few hours while my husband and children moved his furniture and set up the new apt. nicely so everything would look familiar. He was able to adjust nicely. The bathroom situation surprises me as even when most AD residents are incontinent, they still need to be changed in a bathroom.
Good Luck!
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I agree with the first two posts. With the exception of my parents first move from their house to independent living I set up her new living spaces - first apartments then finally a room with it's own bathroom - each move meant a smaller space but I took the most treasured items and lots of pictures and photos. As much as I could I arranged the rooms as similar as possible. I put up a wall of photos. I figured that at least if she woke up disoriented she would see her things and think "I must be where I'm suspose to be". Each move has been hell for everyone involved. I'm not sure if my strategy helped but it still makes sense - to me at least, lol! Not having her own bathroom would bother me for her. While mom is Depends dependent (no pun intended) I think all the issues of having to be changed by someone else would be made worse by not having your own private space. For someone who is boarder line incontinent and still somewhat self mobile not having your own bathroom would be a huge discouragement, I would think. Since you have to move, why not consider a new facility that would offer a private bathroom? But my biggest piece of advice would be to listen to the facility and make the move as soon as you can find a good place. My biggest mistakes have been in not listening to experienced professionals in this field - even if some of them can be asses. When mom was discharged from rehab they said she needed a NH but I wanted to try AL first. That lasted 10 days before she fell and then fell again 3 days later. We drug out looking for a NH mom would agree to - which never happened and she only dug in more not accepting we had to move - no choice. We moved her to a nice NH but it didn't specialize in memory care. Mom is making everyone miserable - family and staff - and a facility specializing in her particular challenged would be better equipt to deal with her. I am anticipating being asked to leave again - I'm just praying that won't happen for a few months and family can catch a breath before regrouping.
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I would stay as positive about the change as possible. Point out good things that they will offer.

I tried to always tell my loved one that residents and staff really liked her and thought a lot of her. I told my loved one that a resident or staff member had confided in me that she was the most friendly and kind resident they had and such a pleasure to have as a resident. For her, it helped her feel welcome and more comfortable. I told her this, even when it wasn't true, even though she would forget.

I had to move my loved one from regular assisted living to Secure Memory Care at a different facility. It went very smoothly and I saw an immediate improvement. She seemed so much more comfortable there. For her, it was the right level of care.

If her existing place is recommending Memory Care, then I would consider the options and consider if she would do any better at another regular assisted living facility. I don't know of any Assisted Living facility that doesn't have missing items issues. Most just deal with it, but I suppose they have to respond based on the severity of the problem.

Eventually, she will not be able to utilize a private bathroom, though, my loved one's unit has private bathrooms in each room. I don't think there are any who use them unassisted though.

After a couple of weeks, my loved one had no memory of the previous Assisted Living facility.
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My experiences probably won't be helpful here, but when I looked for memory care units for my friends with dementia issues, I finally found an AL place that offered studio, one bedroom and two bedroom apartments in their memory care units. It is one of the oldest AL facilities in the St. Paul area. It was the only place with memory care apartments large enough for two people to live in and be comfortable. I was able to make their apartment look very similar to their condo and the move in went very smoothly. Frankly, the new "models" for memory care seem more like short term warehousing and are not at all inviting. Perhaps there are options out there that would be worth looking into for a more satisfactory arrangement. If you have to move her anyway, why restrict the move to just the same facility?
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I went through this with my mom. Unfortunately I had to change facilities as well as units because the place where she started out was horrible. When I moved her into memory care at the new facility they took very good care of her. Unfortunately she dos decline quickly but I don't think it's the fault of the facility. Go with your gut.
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They may allow a bedside portable toilet which would save your mom the long trip down the hall. It is so tough when they essentially punish them as the dementia gets worse. You and your mom are in my prayers.
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We recently were told my mom needed to move from AL to Memory Care, (same bldg.). They said there'd be more staff at the MC wing and she needed extra care. We moved her and she has gone downhill DRAMATICALLY! I'm sorry they talked me into it. My Mom thinks she's Veen kidnapped and can't find a ride home. Everyday, MANY times a day, she calls my sister and me yelling at us because we won't take her "home". We've tried changing the subject to no avail. There's actually NOT more staff in this wing--we were lied to. She sits in her chair all day, does not want to go to "those silly activities" and most of the time she's yelling, "Help! Someone help me!" When we visit her, she cries when we have to leave. She asks us to spend the night with her because she's so scared. She needs a change in her medication, and to see her neurologist, there's at least a 3 week wait. And even then, I've heard there's a lot of tinkering with the meds to find the right kind/dosage. We are at a loss.
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