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...so I got to spend yet another day "off" tending to my father because Assisted Living is SO restricted on what they can and can't do which means it falls on me...

The culprits...constipation and subsequent anxiety due to constipation.

There are rules. I get that, but today I was left with the question... WTH am I paying $5K a month for? Their rule is to only give meds that are on the doctor's orders which means if Daddy feels "bad" I get multiple phone calls to give him OTC meds, This includes something as simple as cough syrup and nutritional supplements (such as FIBER and a weight gainer).

Today, after the fifth phone call and Daddy begging me to take him to the hospital, I decided to take him to urgent care instead. Of course, they did NOTHING!!! They looked at his current med regimen and suggested increased fluids and more fiber... NO KIDDING!!!!!

So once again, I have to be the "fix it" person which meand that my day off looks like this: I wasted an hour and a half at a pointless Urgent Care appointment followed by purchasing Ensure shakes and Benefiber single doses so that I can "sneak" Daddy's fiber into the shakes with hopes of getting things moving around again for him. Buying and making those took another hour. I then had to insert another suppository but it took 45 minutes of fighting to get Dad to agree to that. I then had to wait for Dad to "go" then check the output (I have no children and a weak stomach--NOT FUN) as well as clean Daddy up because he was sore after the whole ordeal!

I'm sorry, but shouldn't $5K monthly cover some of this? The point of me putting him in AL was to LESSEN my burden of care, Instead, I'm spending PRECIOUS time off doing things that they COULD and SHOULD be doing!!!

The easiest solution would seem to be getting Dad's doc to add OTC meds to the orders, but that's not easily done. The VA doctor won't change meds or sign a form without a full visit (hard on my schedule and appointments usually have a wait time of at least three weeks), and he seems to not care about what's easiest for the patient. He sent Dad home with an anti-nausea medicine last summer when I brought him in for constant vomiting. Thankfully, I had the foresight to take Dad to the emergency room where they operated immediately for an incarcerated hernia.

So... what can I do? I am NOT a health professional nor do I want to be one. If possible, I would like to think that the money I pay could include at least placing suppositories when needed, verifying Dad's OUTPUT since I can't be there to monitor it and giving him fiber or a laxative without all the red tape.

I deserve my days off, and I am NOT happy about having to spend so much time doing things I think the expensive AL should be doing. Any suggestions?

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AL nurses do not handle constipation issues. Running to the ER for constipation is my father's favorite hobby. The AL facility will send him to the ER if he is that insistent but the transportation costs $50 to get back. On the bright side I am not being harrassed by him expecting me to take him to the ER....well worth the $4500 per month as far as I am concerned.
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Things to do: o to the head nurse, the AL Director, ask the Dr.'s Assistant if you have one who sees residents upon request, he visits once a week. Call the Dr.'s office. Does he make calls at the residence? Finally, if these things fail make a Dr. appointment even if you have to take a day off work. It makes a huge difference in a residents outlook when a bowel movement is a normal part of the day with no pain or worries.
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As Flu season approaches the nurses at AL are in hair-on-end mode. Residents and their helpful relatives supply their loved one with all kinds of cough syrups and of course the residents share their stuff with each other. So when Mrs. Jones is found comatose with Nyquil on her breath, there is a genuine panic for good reason. OTC meds should NEVER be in the hands of the patient. PLEASE!! Mom had nitro pills in her purse, cough syrups, Benadryl, aspirin, all NO NO items with the meds she was on. TAKE THEM to the head nurse and report the self-medication taken.
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At my dad's Assisted Living, the med tech could give Dad Tylenol as needed, but I needed to buy the bottle and give the bottle to the nurse for safe keeping. Same with Bactine type products for cuts. If the facility can order these products through their outside pharmacy, they will do so, and your Dad would be billed by the pharmacy.

As Pam had mentioned above, check with the Assisted Living nurse. She or he should be familiar with what meds are ok to use with other meds.
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Sorry, I re read and saw the part about the doc being an a**hole about changing meds. Is there not a doc associated with the AL? Perhaps they or another resident can recommend one that is more amenable?
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Sorry for the typo - second "lastly" was a typo in itself but "hear" should be "here". Grrr!
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Tinyblu- I had a saying I used all the time my mother was in AL. "Assisted living isn't all that assisted". At my moms place EVERYTHING was on what I called "the ala carte menu". And it was $4000 a month just for the apartment- baths, laundry, meds, were all extra. To be honest, they did empty the trash every two hours so someone was looking in on her and meals were included. The OTC meds worked the same way as your dads place - even an aspirin had to be doctor ordered! And for every med stopped- an order. Even when common sense could apply. Dr ordered an OTC cough syrup but it didn't do the job so ordered a rx strength syrup - didn't specifically say to stop the OTC one so mom got both for a couple days! Anyhoo - I hate to say it - but maybe it's time to think about a NH? Lastly - be careful with the suppositories as they can make matters worse if used too often. Lastly - from what I've read hear, people with dementia tend to fixate on pooping and sometimes think they haven't when they have...just saying...
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So, couldn't the urgent care doc write a script for the otc meds prn?
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Go see the head nurse.. Ask what PRN's are typically ordered. Make a list. Believe me the head nurse can get it done. Dad will still call you and try to manipulate you, but that's a boundary you have to draw yourself.
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You need to get the doctor to order it PRN /as needed or on a schedule, such as metamucil 1X daily, take with 8 oz fluids.
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