Follow
Share

My dad was a vet that was active duty and served during the wars. But I've not be able to verify if there is a worth disqualifier. Can anyone confirm or direct me to where I could verify this?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Your parents "raised you right" and now reap the fruits of their faithful labors. Congratulations on being honoring to your parents. More blessings will.follow you, and your children.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Joannes, it sounds like a good plan, lots of pieces to it, and many people to help out as needed. You are very fortunate!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Well IF we can figure out how to do this, money from parents home will be used for downpayment on daughter's family home, in order to get a larger one with sep apt. There would be no strings placed on daughter's mortgage, so essentially they then have the equity accrued in the better property. They would want their own mortgage payment to be what they could handle without parents there, so they didn't have to sell or move after parents death. There is something called a 'life estate' contract that would be done which permits parents to live with them the 'rest of their lives'...but parents have no controls over the home other than that right to live there until they die. Then, all other parental expenses would be paid from parents money. I would continue to be the POA for bills and investments....and I would assure that monies could be used monthly for respite care and enable their family to spend time together and help cover those expenses if needed too. We didn't discuss a separate literal salary, but there is also another granddaughter in Phoenix, and myself who are beneficiaries on other assets, so essentially I would work to keep things fair. I have a good relationship with both daughters and we can all be direct about what is needed and what is available. We could work it out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

That does sound like a good plan, I hope there is some compensation involved for the daughters family. If you think of how much Asst Living costs, she is saving your parents about 50 grand a year.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

to gladimhere.....let me briefly explain the family situation... My daughter and family used to live in Tucson, near my parents, until hubby got new job 3 yrs ago. They were the primary in town support. Big family....6 kids with 4 that are 15 and older. other 2 are 9 and 5. Kids homeschooled, Mom is an RN and they did foster care for yrs with adoption of 4 of the kids. Parents well know how to deal with govt agencies, regs, case managers etc. They are planning to sell their home and move closer to Seattle to be closer to their church families and activites. They are small farm people. So they offered this notion of getting a house with a mother in law suite and bringing grandparents so they can spend rest of their lives with each other. They are coming from a Christian Biblical perspective of honoring the elderly and keeping them with family. We have been talking all different angles of this for a couple months now. My Mom who has been home alone for 2 yrs now, does not want assisted living. Only wants to be with family. Dad who is placed is in his 'happy place' with his dementia....happy to see people he knows and much like a 3 yr old....whatever we're doing, he is willing and cooperative to go along. But he loves to visit and talk and be with sociable people even if he doesn't make sense. He doesn't get that kind of attention in his facility. He would get that with all the grandkids. If he's up at night, there would be money for some in home support and for respite care and the older kids and parents could take turns sleeping in their apt at night. They would likely alarm their apt exits too. Hopefully want a place where the sep living quarters are attached. Rest of us in AZ could travel to visit for a week every couple months. MUCH less stress than what we're doing now! and my parents would be with family and get much better personal attention. Don't think family would move again. Hubby is pretty settled in his hospital position as a biomedical tech and on verge of moving into management. Lots of support from church families too, as many in this church are doing the same care for their elderly parents or grandparents. Also, daughter is planning ahead, because my hubby has parkinsons and is saying, when my folks are gone, and when hubby needs more help, we could then move up there with them as a farther out plan too. So, til you hear the planning it does sound like a weird plan but I think it's pretty well thought out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Joannes, one additional thought
What if daughter's situation changes, she is offered a fantastic opportunity in another location? Or any number of things that would require a move. What then? Move Dad and Mom again? Let them stay where they are in the warmer climate with the help they need that seems to work.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Joannes, are you really considering a move from Arizona to Washington State? How far advanced in dementia is your Dad? That sounds like alot of responsibility for your daughter, to say nothing about how difficult the move would be for your folks. Maybe daughter is hoping that the change in benefits will keep them in Arizona. Does she really want this to happen? Does she have a family that needs her attention? She must be in her 30's or 40's? I have two daughters in their 40's each with two children and spouses and I would not want them to take on this sort of responsibility. I want them tending to their own needs and families.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My Dad is a WWII vet, 93 yrs old with dementia. When we needed to place him in a facility two years ago, we started the application process for both Medicaid and VA benefits. I had a financial person at parent's eldercare attorney's firm helping me with all this paperwork. I don't know the numbers, but we were clearly told back then, by the VA Rep that we'd be better doing the spend down and getting Dad on Medicaid because the VA was so backlogged in the approval process, that Dad would be long dead before his file came to the top of the list. At that time, part of the message was that there were so many young vets coming back from the middle east with great injuries and needs and even though older vets get higher on the list, they are superceded by young vets just coming home with war injuries. So I have no idea if things have changed in two years. We are considering have both parents move to Washington State and live with our daughter and family in a guest apt on their property. Daughter there tells me that there is LOTS of news about how there ARE more benefits for Aid and Attendance and in Washington, there is no waiting list for help...they are advertising for people to come in. Since he would lose his AZ Medicaid if we do this move, we would likely looking into Aid and Attendance through the VA once he was up there, if we get all on board to make this move. Manipulative Mom is on one day and fighting it the next day at the moment. I agree with the idea of googling it and trying to get some base info on your own. Then you can simply call you local VA office and ask to speak to a benefit specialist.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My understanding is that assets are taken into account, but there is a formula to determine eligibility based on cost of care. The asset limit is not the only factor, but many think this is the case. A social worker actually told me that assets do not matter. Have not made the call to get info direct from VA.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Apparently there is a VA website with that info, but I'm on a stupid phone right now and can't cut/paste the link to it. There are also discussions of it here on this website, but again, that Search function is not available.on my phone. Google VA Aid & Attendance, it should get you to their website, with more.concrete information. BTW, the A & A is currently being revised, so be on the lookout for perhaps a new threshold of assets. I have heard of an $80,000 asset limit, not including their home, but I'm not actually sure where I read that.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.