My mother moved in with my husband and I 5 months ago. We have not asked her to help with any of the bills etc. and she has not offered except to chip in $20 for my cleaning lady that costs $100. This is okay, we are doing what we think is the right thing to do. However, we have asked her to cover the cost of a caregiver when we go away for a long weekend or I travel with my husband on a business trip. The cost is $100 per day. She was in shock at first but has finally agreed to do it. She's on a budget but can certainly afford this. The nest egg she does have she won't touch because she says that's our inheritance, my two brothers and I. I keep telling her that money is hers, she's still alive, and if she needs it she should spend it. Anyway.... This is much harder than my husband and I anticipated. My biggest challenge is balancing my time between my mother, my husband, and myself. Would love to hear your thoughts on the money issue....
"Mom, you didn't painstakingly save your money for an inheritance for us. You saved it for a rainy day. It's pouring outside right now. We need to spend some of it."
Dad said to me one time, he doesn't want to touch that money as it will be my inheritance.... I said to him "what happens if he and Mom OUTLIVE me?"... Dad didn't know how to answer that. I told him because of their decision to live in a large house and being in their 90's, and not want to pay people to help, that it is highly stressful on me, and I now have serious health issues. Please start using that money to help themselves!!