In 2015 after a decade away, my mom was slipping into poor health. I was in Colorado going through a divorce after 25 years and was stuck in my own downward spiral. Eventually, my mom's situation became so grave I was pulled in as power of attorney to help get her stabilized. Her health was so bad, she couldn't get out of bed and was soiling herself regularly. Fast forward to today.
She is now in a stable managed care home, although her costs continue to climb. Her income is $3,200.00, her rent is $2,800.00, and her medical supplemental is $400.00. She is maxed out.
I have told the county I cannot manage my mom anymore, I am currently looking for work at 55 and trying to manage my own life. I love my mom, but I simply cannot handle the pressure this brings on my health. I have asked the county several times to take over and assist my mom as indigent but they say she has too much income.
I have made it a priority to pay her caregivers, but they just raised her rate to $3,500.00 a month. I am so lost on what to do. My poor Mom, she is and always has been a sweet, giving lady, I just simply don't know what to do.
Friends have said walk away, force the county's hands, but since setting my Mom up for managed care I have been the power of attorney. I couldn't handle the large CC debt she had accumulated and I just ignore these collection letters. I haven't been able to pay her taxes. As you can see above, there is no money after her basic care and medical.
I am not sure of the ramifications of walking away as power of attorney. This is just too stressful and I cannot do this any more. She is in a good, loving home and at $2,800.00 a month it was managable but at $3,500.00 and the $400.00 for Medical, and the extra monthly costs, Mom is completly tapped out, and has less than $3,000.00 left in her bank account.
I have asked the county of Napa to take over several times. I finally told them I was moving away and I could not manage my Mom's affairs, but still nothing in response. I have talked to the county, I have talked to the care home and told them there is no other money. What will happen if I just walk away?
Its one thing being a POA and getting Mom set up with care with Medicaid, its another to have the State take over her care fully. This means a State guardian being assigned meaning you may not be able to see ur Mom.
i agree.
as far as i understand, OP is willing to take that risk. OP wants the State to take over.
hug!! poor you, and your poor mother.
1.
resigning from POA.
anyone is allowed to resign. you don’t need a lawyer for that. you can even just email your mother, saying you’re resigning as POA. in addition to writing to her (email or letter), you should also tell her verbally (even if she has dementia). it’s good to have that conversation. record the conversation. record some signing/receipt by her, of your letter/email (even if she has dementia). it shows you tried to explain to her. (there are various degrees of dementia: little bit…to fully incompetent).
to summarize:
POA DOESN’T oblige anyone to act. it only gives the opportunity to act, if you WANT to. you have no obligation under the POA to care for your mother. you can resign anytime.
if institutions (bank, NH…) have copies of the POA, tell them in writing that you’re resigning, from today.
2.
how to help your poor mother?
how about doing the ER dump?
your mother has many health issues. bring her to the hospital? can you call an ambulance?
“She is now in a stable managed care home”
get her out to the hospital? tell the doctors, “unsafe discharge”? can’t go home. they’ll have to find a suitable facility for her?
your poor mother. i hope a good solution appears. i hope others on the website have good ideas.
i wish good health for you OP, and for your mother.
Once you get Mom set up in LTC all her needs will be met. You can resign your POA and allow the State to take over her care.
You badly need an ATTORNEY. You Mom's funds pay for this. Never take advice from a Forum when it is professional legal advice that you need. This may have to be a court action when you are taken before the court to relinquish your POA. Depends on the state. You will need to inform every entity you are withdrawing.
I am assuming Mom doesn't have charge cards now. If she does you need to cancel them. Paying credit card debt instead of taxes is a very poor decision. Your Mom's will be ruined and a lien put on her home for payment upon its sale, but that's all just fine; no one can attach her SS income.
You truly do need an elder law attorney now for advice on how your are handling the POA AND ON HOW to relinquish it so that the state will step in.
Then, I would consult with a Medicaid Planner for your mom's state of current residence. It's tricky to give advice here to someone in another state when she is borderline financially and we may not know all the facts (and we are not professionals, are anonymous and there is no accountability for bad advice.
Also, many states' Medicaid do not cover any care other than LTC. Is your mom in AL? What type of care is she currently receiving? Your mom's funds should also cover this consult. Does her current residence/facility accept Medicaid? These are the important questions for which to know the accurate answers.