Follow
Share

I feel tortured. My dad was in hospital the last week of his life. He had heart failure. A few days before he passed, he told the nurse he wanted to go home. They called my sister to come to the hospital. And then the following day he asked me the same thing, why am I here? I want to go home. I never thought he would die. I told him, we would go home on Monday but he needed to be in the hospital for a couple of more days. He passed on the Friday. I'm really angry with myself for not honoring my dad's last wish to go home. I sort of think he knew he was dying and he wanted to die at home. My sister was always afraid he would die at home because we wouldn't know what to do afterwards. I know I can't change anything now, but wanted to know if this was common.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
The last request my Dad made was to ask me to call the police because his air condenser was trying to kill him.

I suspect he would have wanted to go to the place his memories were the sweetest, but I doubt he could think that clearly. "Home" is not the place you think it is. I am sure, in their minds, that this "home" is someplace from the long ago past
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

cdnreader, and sometimes when an elder says they want to "go home" they mean to meet the Lord.

I think it would have been extremely difficult to actually remove your Dad from the hospital to take him home.  That would mean being discharged from the hospital against the advice of the hospital.   That could have presented complications on Dad's health insurance.

And passing away at home, without Hospice being on board, can be complex also. Some areas require a police report, maybe even an autopsy.

Neither of my parents passed at home.   As I mentioned above, my Mom asked to go home, but it was her childhood home many States away.

We all go through the "what ifs", this is quite normal.   As time passes you will realize there wasn't anything more you could do.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you for your kind replies. It always helps to know I'm not the only one that faced this question. I still wished I could have honored my dad's last request as it were. Its so hard trying to understand that death is a part of life.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Please note the majority of the time when an elder who is in the hospital or living in a nursing home, when they asked to go home, home is not the current or last place they had lived, but the house they know from their childhood.

My Mom  had asked to go home, and I would tell her "tomorrow" until she said things that pointed to her childhood home.   And she wanted to see her parents and her sisters.  Oh dear, Mom was 98. 
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I believe it is very common. Mom was suffering renal failure, COPD, and CHF. She needed dialysis, but refused it. I told her I would move in with them and do all the house/yard work, cooking and cleaning, if she would get the treatment. She wanted instead to just go home. The Dr. told us she probably would not survive the ambulance ride home. 2 hours later she passed.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.