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2 years ago I had to put her in a nursing home since she has Alzheimer's. I have moved her 4 times and now have her back in her home town. The cost is $5,500 per month which she can pay with her income. She also has a $200,000 investment. 2 of my sibs make my life hell. I have a long story but no need to go into. I live 5 hours from mom but visit twice a month and have an apartment there. Several weeks ago I had a mental crisis and was in the hospital 2 days. My psychiatrist told me to move to the town my mother is in and save myself. I would like to start taking compensation, which my POA document says I can. My attorney says I should tell my sibs I am doing. I don’t agree and am seeing another attorney next week. The POA says “reasonable” amount. Any advice? I have been doing it for free for 5 years and my mother will NEVER run out of money. Please help me!

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I think you may need a new psychiatrist.

If your mom has dementia and has had to be moved 5 times, it seems like you're not taking care of a sweet little old lady who is agreeable and flexible. Better your mother should be moved closer to where you live so you can continue to work.

And my dear, if your mom has dementia, she will need care that costs more than 10k per month soon. I wouldn't count on her 200k lasting very long at all.
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Wouldn't the cost of the apartment, which the poster maintains in order to fulfill her duties as POA, be reasonable along with all transportation costs - flights, gas, or mileage - in order to visit twice per month? It's hard enough being POA and doing the job well!
Why does the poster need to explain herself to her siblings when they are not their mother's POA?
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As you are looking for another attorney to tell you what you want to hear so are you in posting the same question here for a second time.

“I do not like some of the answers given”? Seriously?

As for walking in your shoes - you have no idea how foolish that statement is. Browse around the threads a bit. There are folks here with way bigger problems that trying to figure out how much to pay themselves from their loved ones endless supply of money.
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Well I'm sure you can keep looking until you find an attorney to agree with you. But remember they can also find one to agree with them.
What would you be charging your mom for? Putting up with your sibs? Perhaps moving closer will give you a chance to work things out with them. Good luck on finding some peace in your life.
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When I started charging my mom to manage her property I looked around to see what a professional property manager was paid to do the same thing, you should investigate what a paid outsider would be getting for the work you do - that is what a reasonable amount would be, no more. And remember you will probably need to declare the amount as income on your taxes.
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It sounds as though the role as POA is mostly the administration of her mom's assets and assuring all the paperwork is in order at the nursing home, in my opinion the cost of visiting and the apartment fall outside of that. Visits are not required to do the job unless they are business meetings, and if a geriatric care manager charged clients to keep an apartment I'm pretty sure that people would be outraged, you can't use that pretext to be paid just for being a better son/daughter.
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Brinaz, many people who aren't getting the support they deserve from family do develop "thin skins." I think most of us can understand this.

But also consider that most people on this forum are actively doing caregiving, sometimes 24/7 in their homes. They are under a lot of pressure and tension, and sometimes can get a little snarky in their responses.

Let's all just cut each other some slack. OK?
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Profile says mom is 82. How many years will mom's long term care pay her costs? There usually is a limit of a number of years.

I was 24/7 caregiver for my mom with Alzheimer's for four years. Twisted sister 2 was POA. In the beginning of the care I was told by ts2 that she wanted to pay me and I agreed I would wait a few months to see what happened with mom. Well, a year later ts2 finally decided to consult mom's attorney on drafting a care agreement. She did not like what mom's attorney told her as far as what reasonable cost would be and what mom would want. She fired that attorney and found one that told her what she wanted to hear. That led to nearly three years of legal wrangling and an award from the court that I be paid for two years of the care I had already provided and going forward. The amount of money that ts2 spent of mom's to fight paying me was absurd, especially considering that she did this to protect her inheritance.

After four years I decided I had enough harassment by twisted sisters and they placed mom in memory care. Much of that time mom also needed 24 hour supervision because of her behaviors. That monthly bill was about $12,000.00, including the 6K that was paid to the facility.

If the POA states you can be paid. Do it with a care agreement. But, you cannot negotiate with yourself. You will need to get a geriatric care manager to assess mom's needs and how much time that will require from you. Then have attorney draw up the agreement reflecting exactly what your duties are and how much you will be paid.
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Okay. I’m calling it.

Now mom is 82 - according to the edited profile. Previously mom was 68.

When asked about 68 and the money lasting we were told a few posts back that the OP was 68 and mom 86.

Mom being 86 was better. Cause if mom is now 82 then she was a mother at age 14. Which is certainly possible- but gets less plausible with the three stated ages.

OP lives five hours away. OP has not worked in five years and “been with mom the whole time” for the past five years. OP
visits twice a month. OP just moved two weeks ago.

OP asked the same question about a week ago - got three replies but never posted again until this one.

I really am sorry if I’m wrong here - but way too many inconsistencies in this all.

What’s up, Brinaz? And please don’t do the “you’re being mean, hateful and not supportive - I thought I would get support but...” thing as that’s a red flag to a bogus post. Tell us the truth if you really do have a situation needing help.
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I think the $200,000 investment must be a typo as well because there is no way that little bit will keep mom set for life, even with long term care insurance.

And I still say that visiting twice a day is not something that you get paid for, strangers might get paid to do it as a job but family does it because they are family. My life would be a lot easier if I allowed myself a salary for being a loving daughter. If your siblings - no matter how deadbeat - want to kick up a fuss about it then they probably have legal grounds to do so.
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