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All she says is she’s full and can’t eat anymore. Today she was hollering for Jesus to take her. It breaks my heart.

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The thing is Hospice is paid by Medicare so they all are under the same criteria. I have never heard that they can't be talking or walking. I am sure there are members whose parents are on hospice that are not bed ridden.

Did u call the Dr. and tell him she was turned down? I agree, try another hospice.
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I would contact a different hospice provider. I think that so many people use them as their free clinic that they have tightened the reins and they have not found a balance yet.

I highly recommend using a non profit religious based hospice. They seem to have more compassion.

I hope that you find what is going on soon and can get her on hospice.
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Call another hospice. The reason for denial doesn’t seem appropriate. One of my aunts has been on hospice for almost 3 years. She can’t walk now (Covid) but she could walk (without walker) and talk for most of that time.

Can you confirm that she has a BM or is this what she says? Although it is possible to have a blockage and still have a BM.
DH aunt had ever increasing BP. Was wanting to stay in bed. No appetite. Nausea. Finally her bathing aide said her breath smelled of poop. I took her to ER. They X-rayed her stomach. She was full of poop. Fleet enema was the solution. Too much thyroid med was the cause.

But do know that other things can cause a blockage that an enema wouldn’t help.

Check her vitals. See if her tummy hurts. It might be any number of things. That’s just what it was for my DH aunt.
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It could be any number of things. I might discuss it with her doctor to rule out other things. Sometimes, it’s progression of dementia. Depending on what you find out, I’d explore hospice to see if she’s a candidate.
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Has she been going to the toilet? Being constipated can cause these sensations.

I would call her doctor and ask for an appointment to rule out UTI or water retention or blocked bowel and while you are there ask about a hospice referral.

My dad has CHF and he gets really bloated and doesn't want to eat or drink when he is retaining water in his abdomen.
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Momsonlychild Jul 24, 2020
She has none of those symptoms and goes to the bathroom regularly. Her dr sent a referral for Hospice, they came and said because she could still walk with her walker and say more than 5/6 words she’s not eligible. It blows my mind!
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Have you gotten your mom a hospice evaluation yet? If not, it may be time to do so. I listen to my mother tell me how she wants to die on a daily basis, and how I'm 'not praying hard enough' for her TO die, and yada yada. She's been doing this for about a year now. She lives in Memory Care and says she hates the food, but has eaten herself up to 190 lbs..........so, how 'bad' can the food really be? I have asked for a hospice evaluation for my mother too, but her doctor keeps saying she's 'not ready yet'. By the time my father was deemed 'ready' for hospice, he lived for exactly 17 days. Her doctor doesn't feel she 'meets the criteria' because she hasn't lost 20% of her body weight. But there is a lot of other criteria for hospice............so I may call them directly and ask for an evaluation w/o a written order from her doctor.

If you feel like your mother is nearing the end of her life, and if she continues to refuse food and water, then definitely get her evaluated for hospice who can keep her comfortable during the transition phase of her life. I'm really glad I had hospice for my dad and I've never regretted it for a moment.

Some end of life signs are:
Different sleep-wake patterns.
Little appetite and thirst.
Fewer and smaller bowel movements and less urination.
More pain.
Changes in blood pressure, breathing, and heart rate.
Body temperature ups and downs that may leave their skin cool, warm, moist, or pale.


Wishing you the best of luck during this difficult time.
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Momsonlychild Jul 24, 2020
Thanks. Her dr referred her to Hospice but they said she didn’t qualify Because she could still walk some with her walker and she can still talk. It’s unreal to me. She’s down to 97 pounds. Barely eats or drinks anything. She’s in pain with her back and headaches. This week they prescribed her 50mg of Tramadol twice a day. Doesn’t stop her pain. I get so frustrated when they tell me all these great ideas on how to get her to eat. REALLY? Like I haven’t tried everything!! I truly feel mom is at the end stage and I’ll just have to continue being her only caregiver until she passes. This is beyond difficult.
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So sorry you’re going through that. My mom has times when she doesn’t want to eat. She hates the food at her memory care facility. I try to remember things that she has particularly enjoyed in the past and I bring them over to tempt her. I remembered how she loved eating fresh tomatoes from my grandpa’s garden and I put in tomato plants this spring. Just yesterday I surprised her with two big ripe juicy tomatoes to have with her dinner. She called me afterwards to tell me how wonderful they tasted.

when she has one of her frequent UTIs, her whole system is thrown off. She gets fitful, loses her appetite, cries, and moped. Maybe you should have her doc examine her?
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Momsonlychild Jul 24, 2020
She’s been checked for UTI. It doesn’t matter if I bring mom every favorite food she’s ever liked, nothing works. I’ve tried everything! I’ve read your body starts to shut down and I feel this is what’s going on. She wants to die every day. She’s certainly not living, just existing. I hate seeing her like this.
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