As guardian of a parent with mental issues and limited resources, knowing what you know now, would you choose guardianship or state control?

I agree. I made too many mistakes giving in to my mother's guilt trips and promises. After 2 stints of her being in my home with "no one" else to care for her, I got a backbone and said no more. I would (and am) letting the state deal with her.

In county-controlled guardianship, you will still be in contact with whoever is overseeing her. In my case, guardianship was handled by Lutheran Social Services. There was always more than 1 person besides the actual guardian that I was communicating with. They asked me about my SFIL's preferences and habits. They moved him to a closer facility so that we could take my MIL to visit him more often. You can carry on as much (or little) of a relationship with her as you want. We brought food and gifts to my SFIL in his facility (he had Parkinsons). You won't be allowed any access or insights into your Mom's financial or medical affairs. The guardian protects their assets and privacy as it they are your Mom. When my SFIL passed, we were contacted about his cremains and could receive them or not. Then shortly after he passed we received a financial accounting of where the guardian spent every single penny of his SS (because he had no other assets when they acquired guardianship) because Medicaid doesn't take all of your SS every month.

With county guardianship, your Mom will receive care, be protected, have food and shelter and clothing, be in a social setting, and have legal representation. You won't have to be stressed out by worry, or battling to get her to cooperate to do things in her best interests. It will all be done for you.

May you receive peace in your heart regarding your decision.

Since she is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she, of course, 'doesn't believe she needs help ... '

If I were in your situation, I would make other housing arrangements immediately (stop paying for a hotel) - and does she have the ability to 'come and go' in this hotel as she wishes? with Alzheimer's ? This doesn't make any sense to me.

I would recommend you do what is easiest and least costly for YOU.
If she loses all her resources, won't she be eligible for a nursing home paid through Medi-Caid? I don't know these specifics although you need to hire / work with someone who knows the 'ins and outs' of care when a person is destitute or close to it - in your STATE.

Never ever lose your own financial resources. This isn't cruel, it is more so common sense and (for) self-protection. You will need your own financial resources for yourself at some point.

Gena / Touch Matters

Definitely I would not pursue guardianship, nor would I spend (I can't afford it anyway) my retirement funds housing a parent. When the house was condemned, I would have let APS and social services take over. I don't believe Arkansas doesn't cover dementia wards:

Long-Term Services and Supports (LTSS) Medicaid Assistance - Arkansas Department of Human Services

Let the state take over, they will find placement for her

Thank you all for weighing in and sharing your experiences. I am better prepared to make my decision on the next step due to your willingness to pass along your guidance and for that, I am most grateful. Wishing you and your loved ones a happy holiday season.

I would not pursue guardianship. I don’t know how to share my posts or story, but you can find the back story on my profile. My mentally ill estranged mother showed up needing help. I dipped a toe in, got pulled in, and my life has been insanely stressful for the past year. But two things are in my favor: I’m not and will never be her legal guardian, and she will NEVER live with me I am now her POA and that’s quite enough . I hope you can pursue the route and the least level of involvement.

I would never ever ever ever seek guardianship of an incompetent senior who is not perfectly agreeable and perfectly calm and grateful.

You would be in a world of woe.
If you doubt that please stay on AC and read.
State with OP GracieKelli and her current woes with her mother.

I was POA and Trustee of Trust for a brother with probable early lewy's dementia. Let me tell you it was a learning curve and a tough tough job at BEST and that's with a man who asked me to take over everything, trusted me to take over everything, and was NOTHING but cooperative.

If you still doubt me order your copy of the book Never Simple, a memoir by Liz Scheier about her attempts to help her mother for decades. Her mom was mentally challenged as well. And by the way, she had the excellent help of the auspices of the social services of the city and state of New York. Never did a thing.
That should do it.

I just went through the guardianship process. My mom was exactly as you are describing. Combative, accusatory, resistant every step of the way. She lived with me and my son until about 2 months ago. It was a 6 month process for us. I was treated awful by the lawyer appointed for my mom. All the while spending thousands of dollars of my own money. It was emotionally and physically draining on top of trying to take care of my mom alone. She’s finally in memory care, but has maybe a year of funds so I must immediately start Medicaid planning. I was pushed to seek guardianship by bureau of elder services. It cost me $17, 000 of my own money. We were at a breaking point, so I had no choice. The responsibility really begins when you finally get the guardianship. I think I would allow the state to appoint someone else if I had a choice. But you never know how well they will advocate for your loved one. Be aware that appointed guardians also need to get paid. There’s pros and cons either way. Good luck.

Of course a legal be gal will advise Guardianship, as they are very expensive to process, the attorney will make big money.

Next step, I would pursue making her a ward of the state.

She has already ruined her life, don't let her ruin yours as well. She could live a very long time, my mother is soon to be 99.

The main questions leaving out the body of your question my answer would be ..It depends on the relationship you have with the parent and what resources are available to you and the parent.
In your case, reading the body of your questions I think I would allow the State to become the Guardian.

For odd reasons I was made my Husbands Guardian.
It it time consuming
It is expensive
There is a lot of paperwork

YOU should NOT be spending YOUR money to care for mom.
Have you checked with Area Agency on Aging to see if she qualifies for any services?
Is she a Veteran or was her husband? If so the VA may provide some help (or a lot of help)