My elder mother has bad eye sight and needs hearing aids. She has medical problems including COPD and emphysema along with mild dementia. She cannot cook. I have people that come in during days including myself to make sure she has company and eats along with bathing and light house keeping. She wants someone at her home at night to put her to bed. Financials she is drained but her sister and daughter encourage her to stay in home and continue with in home care. I bring her POA have to pay her bills and people with her funds that drain her weekly sometimes to $0 till next check comes. She expresses she wants to live in her home and pass away from there. She lives out in the woods with no neighbors close by or any we know that we could trust nor burden to check in on her. I have had area on aging investigation on myself due to stories she tells her daughter and sister which thru investigations have been found to be untrue. Her daughter lives in another state 12+ hours away and has not seen her in almost 2 years. Mentally, emotionally and health wise I cannot continue in this course but I cannot just walk away and leave her as no one wants to step up. She is unsafe to be alone but I cannot gorse her in Pennsylvania to go into a facility where she would get care and social interaction she won’t get living alone. As durable POA in PA can I place her in assisted living or do I have to continue down this unhealthy and unsafe path?
If you do have the ability to move her, you will be butting heads with her sister, daugher and herself so you will need to be ready to have these relationships impacted.
First, does she have enough money to afford facility care? With her health issues she may qualify for LTC, which can be covered by Medicaid (if she also qualifies financially). Don't consider any facility that doesn't have open Medicaid beds.
Do not tell her sister and daughter (or her) what you are planning. Tell your Mom a therapeutic fib that you think she will accept. Tell her she needs to move into a hotel temporarily while repairs are done on her house to make it safe for her to return. Do not tell the other relatives for a while so that your Mom has a chance to adjust.
If this plan falls apart, then you can resign your DPoA and report her to APS who will eventually remove her to a facility, anyway. If the sister and daughter (is this your Aunt and cousin?) don't like this plan then invite them to come and solve it because you are going to walk away. But don't make a threat you aren't willing and able to carry out.
Also, do not attempt to pay for her facility care yourself. It is unsustainable unless you are extremely wealthy. I wish you success in getting her the care she needs without a cost to yourself.
At the point you assume full POA you will be responsible for ALL her care and management.
Good luck.