My me durable statutory and medical power of attorney for her. We believe it this time it is best for her to live with my sister. She has Dementia and has been deemed unable to make her own decisions. I'm having difficulty determining the best course of action as far as providing the sister some money to care for mom and her expenses while being able to legally document expenditures. I don't want to give her free reign of a debit card as she is not familiar with the ins and outs of what is and is not appropriate to spend the money on to the extent that I am. For those of you in the situation, how do we do this? Do we give an allowance of sorts each month? Do we stop and order things? Pay for things in the middle of our day? Every time mom needs something? Should I have an attorney draw up a form allowing her to be paid a certain amount each month? What seems to work ethnically and legally best here?
Records of all of this remain online with the bank for years.
I agree you should have a contract with the sister, but how old is she? If your Mom is 85... (and incontinent, besides other health issues)? Is she physically -- as well as cognitively -- able to take on this task? Is she expected to drive your Mother places? To clean the house? To accompany her to medical appointments (and remember what was instructed or will you be doing this)? Would she know what to do in an emergency? Does she have any tech skills at all (like using a laptop or smartphone, texting, even a flip phone, etc)?
If she's expected to be "on call" 24/7 in the home, the sister won't have a life and this won't be good for her, at all -- unless you are planning to cover some of those hours every day.
FYI paying the sister makes her an employee and this means you will need to know the employment and labor rules for that state. Or, a contractor, and she would then need to know what she's doing regarding reporting her income. You may need to create a W2 at the end of the year for her and do tax withholding on her paychecks, which would require the help of a bookkeeping firm (of which there are many online).
If you aren't going to be the support help, you may want to consider paying a 2nd aid to give the sister some relief so she doesn't burn out.
More info on your daily role would be helpful.
Unless your sister is pretty incapable overall, in which case she cannot do this, you should be fine.
See an elder law attorney with sis at your convenience. You are going to be traveling a bit to her and Mom now, so you can see an attorney in her area if you choose. You will pay for and get good advice. This is part of your fiduciary responsibilities to your mom, and to your sister while she is caretaker. You and sister need to REASSESS and RE-evaluate how long she will intend to do this as it goes on. What you feel about it now is subject to change, especially on her part..