As a POA/Healthcare Surrogate, what rights do I have at my Mom's Assisted Living Facility?

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My Mom is at an ALF and calls me when she is having problems receiving care (generally from one caregiver late at night). I generally phone or stop by - sometimes both. Recently, I stopped by around 12:30am and the caregivers told me they were instructed not to speak to me and not to let me in. I called the manager and she told me I would not be allowed in the facility during that shift because I had been abusive to staff. I absolutely have not. I have only calmly voiced concern over lack of care provided. My wife is always present. I have tried talking with the Manager in the past but it always ends up with him doing all the talking; he does not listen to/respond to my concerns - he is too busy complaining. I am moving Mom - but must wait the 30-days. I am very concerned that there are times I cannot see Mom. What can I do? Any advice will be appreciated.

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Oh no, Meallen, of course not. But I don't think it's the norm. Do you?
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"We're different; I'll be here every day, at least once a day." I am glad you were able to help your parents, but you do really think no one else in history has visited a parent everyday?
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Fla, I'm with you on this. For my parent, and I will react the same as if it were my child, and that means going when they call. My dad spent time in rehab twice not 5 minutes from my home, and he called me at midnight at least a few times, and I went. Once he was pushing buttons on the TV remote and wondering why the aides didn't come. His MC was 11 minutes from my home. I never went in the middle of the night, but I did go late and could come and go at anytime at all. I told them right up front, "We're different; I'll be here every day, at least once a day." BOTH facilities were completely accommodating and seemed happy to do so. I didn't need to disrupt anyone and was always courteous to the staff and other residents. It all worked out very well for us. I would not have left him anywhere that I couldn't go to him 24/7.
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Fla, my mother ended up in the hospital a few days entering the first AL we admitted her to. They did not hold up their end of the contract (the medical services they said would be available were not and mom ended up hospitalized). It became clear to us that this was not the right facility. We talked to the administrator and told him we wouldn't sue them if they dropped their 30 day notice nonsense. It worked.
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I am so sorry that this AL is not working out for your mother. I'm glad you are taking her someplace else. It certainly sounds like you've covered all the bases and are not acting inappropriately.

In defense of the ALF workers (not the ALF itself), often the night shift is lightly staffed. Of course they should staff to be able to cover the services they have contracted to provide, but if they don't, it is not the night aide's fault. And shortages happen. The regular worker is out sick and her replacement has a bad back, etc. If you find that staff is congregating together in backrooms eating, texting, and taking extended breaks, I would say the place is not run very well. But there may be circumstances you are not aware of. There may be a staff shortage that day, some are working double shifts, and need a long rest break between shifts. Or they are taking their normal meal break.

Sometimes the sales folks promise more than the staff can deliver. My daughter works in a very nice ALF and she's overheard the "tour guide" tell a prospect that "yes, they can handle a two-person transfer" while my daughter is thinking, "No, no we can't! We are not staffed to do that! Another resident would have to be neglected for us to do that! It doesn't matter that we charge extra if we don't hire extra staff, which they aren't going to do for one resident." Sigh. Again this is the fault of the facility, not of the staff trying their best to cope with unrealistic promises.

Could your mother possibly get in the new place sooner than 30 days? Even if you wind up paying both places for a limited time, it might be worth getting her out of there. And do follow up with holding them accountable after she is moved.
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My first thought is your mother most have the bladder of a camel.
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This is likely not the first time they have done this. Get your mother out of there and then report them for they need to be held accountable. 
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Yep - we've tried all that staaarrr. We have the agreement that states each service - but she just doesn't get it. The manager only deflects our concerns by demonizing us. That is why we are leaving. Just got a call from a corporate officer. He wants to talk with us - but, so much has happened...we just want out of here. We just want peace. Hopefully, he will see that Mom gets the help she needs for the next 30 days and we won't need to go over in the middle of the night....fingers crossed! Thanks.
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Yeah, my Dad got in trouble with my Mom’s AL owner because he got in what he called a discussion but what the AL personnel called screaming abusive language at one of the aids.

I warned him that in the 21st century raising one’s voice is called assault and he could get the police after him. They’ve said he has been a lamb since.

It’s not what you’re saying it’s how you make the other person feel when you’re talking to them. Oh and if you are a man you’re already considered suspicious.
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Thanks staaarrr - for the nice suggestions
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