Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
What do you mean by "a video of men screaming at him" ?? What does that have to do with YOU being "reported to DSS for verbal abuse"?? Who reported you? A family member or stranger?
I can't make much sense out of this post.
All I can say is if you are overwhelmed to the point of screaming at your husband so much that you were reported to a public agency about it, you are definitely overwhelmed.
You need to talk to an Elder Lawyer about your joint assets, and help with a Medi-Caid application to afford to get him into a facility. That would include getting help from the Doctor who diagnosed him with dementia. It's not a good (or safe) situation for either of you.
Your husband needs to be placed in residential care if you are that stressed out that you're screaming at him. It's not an environment either of you deserve. Once he's placed, you can relax a bit and go back to being his wife again instead of an overwhelmed caregiver, which is too much for many of us.
I agree with what KNaance has suggested. If you show that you are getting help with managing the stress, that you are willing to do what needs to be done to keep BOTH of you safe that is a great start. HOWEVER be prepared to accept that you may have to place him in a Memory Care facility if the need arises. Do you have an elder Care Attorney that you have consulted in the past? Or a family attorney? This may be a necessity IF it gets to the point where those involved with the case think that it is in your husbands best interest to have a Guardian appointed. I do not want to scare you with this thought but it is better to be prepared.
Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you Have some support . In the meantime If they come to ask questions be as Honest as Possible . You sound Like You really need some support . If You need someone to talk to the Alzheimers association has Volunteers in Brewster , MA. That you Can Talk to . They May have to get Back to you . Take care of Yourself you sound stressed . I went to a acupuncture clinic for stress relief - it saved My Life and gave me a safe Place to relax . Acupuncture can be very healing for the brain and stress relief . Get a Massage that helps too .
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What does that have to do with YOU being "reported to DSS for verbal abuse"??
Who reported you? A family member or stranger?
I can't make much sense out of this post.
All I can say is if you are overwhelmed to the point of screaming at your husband so much that you were reported to a public agency about it, you are definitely overwhelmed.
You need to talk to an Elder Lawyer about your joint assets, and help with a Medi-Caid application to afford to get him into a facility. That would include getting help from the Doctor who diagnosed him with dementia. It's not a good (or safe) situation for either of you.
I'd even call APS, and tell them you need help.
Best of luck.
If you show that you are getting help with managing the stress, that you are willing to do what needs to be done to keep BOTH of you safe that is a great start.
HOWEVER be prepared to accept that you may have to place him in a Memory Care facility if the need arises.
Do you have an elder Care Attorney that you have consulted in the past? Or a family attorney?
This may be a necessity IF it gets to the point where those involved with the case think that it is in your husbands best interest to have a Guardian appointed.
I do not want to scare you with this thought but it is better to be prepared.