It just doesn't stop, the craziness at home, and now Mom and I both have Covid. Just before Christmas Mom was sneezing, coughing, not eating much and white as a ghost. I insisted on a doing a test which she refused, saying it is nothing. After not taking No for answer, test done and she was positive. I had Paxlovid delivered for her, which seems to be kicking in and she is doing much better on day 5. A few days later I did a test on myself, and boom I have it now. I have no energy, not doing well, but Paxlovid will be arriving for me tomorrow. So because she is feeling better she wants our old "routine" back. Crying, asking why I am angry, why am I not talking to her all of the time, etc. etc. I am on day 2 and just want to rest in bed right now. So damn frustrating!!! I told her now would be a really good time to make an effort to find things to entertain herself; watch a movie, TV (other than news), read a bookm, something that doesn't involve me! Really needing a break!
Mom is being unreasonable. Of course you need rest. Even if she doesn’t accept this, you know what is best. Go ahead and rest. Mom doesn’t have any other choice but to be patient and fend for herself for awhile.
I hope that you feel better soon.
Caregivers often need help. After your contagious period is over and you are feeling better please look into hiring someone so that you can have time for yourself. You deserve it!
I hopr you get well quickly. Do heed lealonnie1's advice, though -- don't you think it's about time to get some help in once everyone is recovered? Better yet, time for a facility for her?
She does go out when I take her shopping, dinner out and to appointments. She doesn't like wearing a mask, so possibly that is how she got it?
Yes, a facility has been in our discussions, hoping we can move forward with that.
I should note that along with fear of getting Covid, she's scared of getting the flu. She won't get the Covid vaccine and has never gotten a flu shot btw. Many people we know have gotten the flu and other illnesses so far in the last month plus. I really, really, really don't want to lose her to an illness and lose her months after seeing my dad pass, but she needs to realize she has to get out of the house sooner or later. There's plenty of people out there in her condition or worse that are out and about, not being driven by fear.
Our caution is not driven by fear, and neither of us is afraid of dying when the time comes. It's not paranoia when we very well know the Covid hazards and dangers that have sickened and killed some of our nearest and dearest. It's clear that many problems would ensue if either of us became sick. Hospitalization? He doesn't drive and couldn't take or stay there with me. Therapy? Who'd drive either of us if I couldn't? Yes, we have commercial people we could call in an emergency, but he's hard of hearing, in cognitive decline, and it would have to be me to line that up. Hard to do if I'm on a ventilator. Heart and lung deterioration? He has heart problems already that could worsen with Covid. I've had serious bronchitis with previous flus, narrowly staying out of the hospital a few times. We can't afford to lose lung capacity. Obviously, we may not have the energy to deal with the many problems and aftereffects that arise from Covid and flu. We already have enough exhausting issues with his present illness and decline, and I - the caregiver - can't handle any more. It's practicality that drives us to being careful. Fear is an entirely different thing, and we've both experienced enough difficulties in life that we have nothing left to be afraid of.
Also, the people in her condition or worse that are out and about and "not afraid," who will take care of them when they get Covid or flu with the follow-on issues that don't go away and rob them of independence? Another hapless caregiver, I guess, who never dreamed she'd have to move in with her unafraid parent and shoulder a burden she didn't want.
In the meantime, tell mother to pull on her big girl panties and amuse herself for the next few days, that you are SICK and won't be available to wait on her hand & foot, talk, or listen to crying for attention. Period.
Feel better soon.
You are absolutely right!
She is getting better so this morning I made it clear that "her" routine won't be happening right now. That we both need rest, calmness and definitely no more drama! Will see how long that lasts?