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my only child and their spouse have made it clear that they do not wish to be caretakers.

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How soon do you need care? How old are you? Do you have any conditions like heart trouble or diabetes?

Is your child saying he/she doesn't want to become your 24/7 caregiver? I can't entirely blame them. That's a lot to take on. Or are they saying they won't even help you work out what care you need and how to get it? That's cold, but it's better to know that now, while you can still make other plans.

Do you have a good friend or two who would help you make plans? What you really need is an elder law lawyer. Also consult with your local Area Council on Aging to learn what you should be thinking about.

Please keep posting about this, because you aren't the only one who is facing old age with no one to care for them.
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My grandmother had Alzheimer's and my mom was diagnosed with it 2 years ago. I'm 51 and I'm afraid I will get it, too. I have an adopted son, who has Down Syndrome. I've been working this summer to get things in place for my future...I bought long-term care insurance; my state (Iowa) has a Partnership program--every dollar I put into long term care insurance is protected to keep my life insurance in place to pay for my son's Special Needs Trust, so that Estate Recovery can't take it. I'm working with a funeral director to arrange for my final arrangements (kind of morbid, but at least I'll get what I want) and I'm working on a Living Will and giving my sister POA. I'm certainly not rich, but I did find a trustworthy financial advisor to help me find ways to have funds for the future. If anyone knows other things I should be doing, please let me know. I hope you have friends who will be there with you; so that you don't feel all alone. I'm so thankful for this web site, I just found it a few weeks ago and it has helped tremendously.
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Check out the article "Why Elder Law Attorneys Aren't Just for Seniors" on this site under Money and Legal. Find a good attorney in your area to help you navigate the options you choose.

In light of your circumstances, you should decide how you want to age. Whether you want to age in your home or not. Given your daughter's feelings, you should start planning now. But definitely get an attorney, if you have a substantial estate, make sure that estate will provide first for you.

I understand how you feel, I don't have children and if I did would not want to be dependent on them for my care. I would rather make my own decisions in advance if at all possible and circumstances allow.

BTW. If you are able, take a cruise, do some things you have always wanted to do. Good luck.
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You must feel really disappointed...

Options for you? Sell your home and look into assisted living places.
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