I'm arguing with my Dad about having a caregiver 5 hours a day for him so I can continue my job. Any advice?

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As many of you already know it took time and many tears to come to the decision for my husband and I to move in with my father. I work a 2nd shift at the hospital as a lab tech and my husband has a normal day shift.....there is about a 5 hour spot where neither one of us is able to be with Dad. So I hired an elderly lady from our church and I was lucky to get her....alot of people in our church that sit were taken already. Daddy is not happy and said that he does not need her and she can go. Im sure it is a BIG change for him. I really cannot quit my job right now but im here the rest of the time or my husband.....I told dad it is just for 5 hours for 5 days a week and to please work with me....He accuses me of not listening to him....I have listened to him....he told me "No more hospitals" so I got him on with Hospice (He has chronic COPD) he told me "No homes" so we worked out that we would could be here for him. He is also suffering from possible early dementia .... he has no more short-term memory. Im trying to go with his wishes ....on my days off I can have the sitter not be there but sometimes I would still like to have her so I can go clean at my home or get some errands done alone.....I do take daddy on most...but sometimes it is healthy for me to have "ME" time. But I guess my question is does anyone have an idea how to make this 'sitter' idea easier for him??? No other family can chip in and no other sitter available at this time....she herself is very nice and even does light house work but the entire time she is here daddy ignores her and does not speak until spoken too...and will not eat when she is here.
Thank you for letting me vent....loving this sight....it has helped me already with what im facing! My everyone have a great day!

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Thank you for all the responses....we are going to continue to work through this because I do worry about him and his safety....to answer about a male caregiver....that is really not much of an option....we were lucky to find this lady...we live in a smaller town and not many options....most of our sitters at church are already with other elderly members...and it is nice that we got her and know her....would feel scared getting a complete stranger.
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So he ignores her. So he pouts. You can't make him happy. You can only ensure he's safe. Let happy go...happy comes from within.
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Thats not early stage dementia hun if he has no short term memory it is past that. You MUST get him professionally assessed so you know what youre dealing with. There are drugs out there that assist with memory loss and they may be appropriate for your dad. Don't give up your job babes unless you absolutely have no choice...will they allow you some flex given your father is dependant upon you ie split shifts or some compassionate leave. Older men might be a good idea but sometimes not so: women tend for some reason to have been raised to look after people and very often do it infinitely better however (absolutely NO disrespect to you men out there who care brilliantly my hat is doffed to you all) perhaps you could have one or two people from the church come in so he gets a variety of people. If his short term memory is lost it might be a good idea to get out an old picture album so he can have something to talk about. My mum likes old documentaries because she remembers the tea dances of that time and wearing gas masks etc (where I live we were hit badly by the German bombings - be patient with me I am a brit!). If he had any hobbies like woodworking then perhaps you could get a cut out of a horse or something and give him some sandpaper to sand it. I find if my mum is stimulated by something she liked (and believe me thats not much) then she is more manageable. Just a few thoughts but get yourself me time you need it you deserve it and it's about time governments realised the wonderful job we all do and stepped in to help a little
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Here is one thing to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent in the near future.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes loss of salary, plus net worth loss of the health insurance, loss of money being put into social security/ Medicare, loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k), etc. [source: Reuters 5/30/12]

What about an older male from the church to be with your Dad, he would have a lot more in common than with a lady from the church which could be very awkward for him, and I don't blame him.
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Sounds like he needs to be evaluated by a doctor for dementia. He may be past the point of being able to be reasoned with. He may be resisting you because having you back in his house may lead him to feel that you are still his little girl and that you are to obey him instead of seeing you as his adult daughter who has a life and responsibilities as an adult plus you have a husband. I've seen this happen a few times just because being back in one's parent's house does sort of put one in a dependent position. You do need your "me time" and your job.
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