My mother is So defensive she becomes unapproachable. Anything you say to her she says says I'm yelling at her. They complain about something and when I try to fix it she says . 'no it's ok' and won't let you. Kinda like when mom was younger and acted like a victim about everything and now implying ' no is ok I'm used to everything not being right. I would much rather struggle and fall down than accept your help. So I feel like saying 'ok just yell real loud if you fall so I can pick u up or call 911 cuz u think I'm not capable of helping you. Even though I've been a nursing assistant caring for other nice old people for 5 years. It's messed up.