Me again. Back from vacation to find Mom deteriorating quickly but still her usual stubborn uncooperative self. She is anorexic. She probably hasn't eaten more than one or two bites of any meal in the past 20 years, but now its worse. Although we pay over $4000 a month for her care, she doesn't eat their food either. Mostly she exists on a few sips of ensure, yogurt or sweets we bring. She is down to 92 pounds, frail, has dementia, is deaf, despite the hearing aids, 3 minute memory so you can't talk to her. She is filthy, won't bathe, won't use the walker, won't use the elevator, wears the same clothes, puts all her food in her purse,(which stinks) her room is filthy (although AL tries to keep it clean), she is incontinent half the time but sort of takes care of it. AL does what they can, but she is still independent and lucid enough they legally can't force her, and convincing her is like talking reason to a donkey. She is miserable, unhappy, just sits, enjoys nothing. Are we doing the right thing - continuing to bring her ensure, snacks to exist on when clearly it is just enough to keep her alive, existing, not living? Or, should we stop bringing her those things and let nature take its course? Or would it force her to begin eating the food that is good for her, maybe make her stronger and healthier? We just don't know. At 100, in her mental and physical state, she has no quality of life, and is in a state of perpetual unhappiness.